Years To Heal
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: Story is about Tony Stark making yet another drunken mistake, that leads his life in a whole new direction. As he does, things start falling into place where they should be in his life. SLASH Tony/Steve in story...to come. Read it and read on, this one will be fair in length.
1. Chapter 1

Tony's POV

It started with a party. With me, I think that's where most of my disasters start. That, or press conferences always don't come with good results. Well, not in the beginning at the least do things seem right. Yet, things tend to work out in a funny way.

I could barely remember that night, to be fairly honest. I truly outdid myself in the amount of alcohol intake. Okay, that was just too technical. That doesn't paint the right picture. Quite truly, the truth about my condition: I was drunk off my ass that night. I couldn't tell one person from the other half the time. In theory, that's probably what got me in trouble.

That is always what gets me in trouble. Getting drunk off my ass doesn't do well for me. All my friends know that. Honestly, I probably shouldn't get so carried away. But, it always seems like a good idea at the time.

I didn't think anything of the events of the party following that night. A victory party for us, that's all it was. I couldn't really remember anything that people didn't spell out for me the next day. And, well, when I say people I mean Pepper.

She was a heavily unreliable source, though, considering she hadn't been paying attention much to me during the party. Though, she did talk of one exception to that fact.

_The party was at Stark tower. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Even Pepper and Bruce had loosened up for the occasion._

_I walked over, already pretty hammered, with a big smile on my face. I leaned over Pepper's shoulder and laughed. "I thought you found it embarrassing to dance in public."_

_She gracefully smiled, and looked over her shoulder at me. "I said it was embarrassing to dance with you in public, Tony. You're my…boss that has no interest in that sort of thing."_

"_That's beside the point. Especially considering you got Bruce onto the dance floor. You must be something special." I said with a wink. _

_She laughed lightly. "You boys seem to think so, I just don't see it."_

_I walked around to face both of them, a huge grin spread on my face. "Well, in some ways more than others." I clapped a hand on each of their shoulders. "If it makes my two closest friends happy, I don't quite care what happens here."_

That was the point that I walked away, and both of them lost track of me for the night. It honestly took weeks for me to find out exactly what went wrong that night. Knowing it was me, and knowing I was that drunk, I knew something had to have gone wrong. I just had to wait for somebody to come and yell at me for whatever I did. What I didn't expect was it to have been so extreme.

One day, a month after the party, I woke up to angry Pepper, Bruce, and Steve standing in my kitchen. I didn't even begin to understand.

Pepper spoke up first. "Why are you kicking us out?"

My eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Honestly, Tony, we got the message this morning. Well, I had to help Steve open his. Did you really think you could get away with having Natasha text us to leave, with no further questions?" Bruce asked quickly, quirking up an eyebrow.

I ran my hand down my face. "I don't recall having anything to do with that message, but if Natasha wants to kick you out, I might want to chase down the reason why."

"She doesn't even want to be alone with you on mission, Tony. Why now?" Steve asked slowly.

I ran my hand through my hair, trying to fathom it myself. "I don't know. But, until I can get to the bottom of it, maybe you all should go." I looked over to Bruce carefully. "I know Pepper and Steve have other places for the time being, but if you don't, I will work something out."

Pepper scoffed. "Tony, don't worry about it. He can stay with me."

I smiled for the first time in what felt like awhile. "I am sure he can. Thank you Pepper, although I doubt you will feel highly burdened."

Pepper rolled her eyes at me, and yanked Bruce along to go get their things. Steve just stood, hesitant to so much as move.

"If it helps, I don't want you to leave." I said carefully, pacing closer. He just nods hesitantly, trying to hold back any emotion. I smile hesitantly, and poke at him. "It's okay to admit that you'll miss me."

Steve cracked a small smile at that, and looked up at me. His blue eyes pierced into me. "You're right, Tony. I think I will miss you. Who else will I have to take care of all of the time?" I roll my eyes, and he gently laughs. "You know, I am not going far away. If something goes wrong, and you need me, just…don't hesitate to come to me, alright?"

I nod, almost feeling like crying at this departure. Almost. I couldn't truly do that. This is not the right time to show Cap that side of me. "I will."

He smiles gently, and pulls me swiftly into a hug. I almost find it odd, because it's him. I mean, he is a fantastic guy, but he is very shy from displaying affection. I feel lucky even to get this much from him. He pulls away, a gentle grin on his face. He steps back slowly, with a smile on his face. "Until we meet again?"

I laugh, and nod. "Until we do, I must say farewell my friend."

He laughs gently, and goes to retrieve his things. I have less intricate goodbyes with the other two, before all three depart from the tower. It's not until then that Natasha finally shows her face. Well, as does Clint. The two are quite inseparable.

"Natasha, I mean, I don't mean to sound like an ass…but what the fuck are you up to?" I asked quickly, too frustrated with her behavior to dance around the point.

"Tony," Clint warned softly, "this is not the time to be an ass." Clint grasped Natasha's arm, and she yanked it away. She really did look out of sorts.

"Natasha, are you hurt? I mean, because if it's medical help you need, I should bring back Bruce. I might not be the right man for the job…"

"Tony…" Natasha began, warning in her tone.

"I mean, I am spectacular at most things, but medicine is not my forte…" I continued absent-mindedly, not even seeing her expression change, or feel her hand yanking my arm to turn me to face her.

"Tony, it's not that I'm hurt. Well, not hurt per say, but…" She paused, hesitating in a way that wasn't her own.

"You know, Natasha, you're starting to scare me. This isn't like you. I mean, the being scary part maybe. But, you are never flustered. Especially towards me, truly you are known to be brutally honest. Just come out with what you want to say, in the way you would." I say with a smirk, that even makes her crack a small amused smile.

"You want me to be blunt and brutally honest?" She asked hesitantly, and I watched Clint start pacing.

"Yes, Natasha, I would love that." I say softly. All I can think of is the possibility of this, whatever it is, being said meaning that my friends can come back sooner than later.

"Well, Tony, I'm pregnant." Natasha snaps at me.

I smile idiotically, totally oblivious to her point. I bring up her hand, and kiss the engagement ring that Clint gave her. "Congratulations you guys. Why aren't you happy about it? Do you need someone to watch the kid while you two super spy?"

Clint ran his hand through his hair, frustratingly moving to speak up. "It's not mine, Tony."

"Oh," I said quickly, still not catching the point, "That's…unfortunate…"

"Jesus, Tony, don't you get why I came to you yet?" Natasha asked quickly, her eyes starting to cloud over with anger and hurt.

"Actually, I really don't, but…"

Then, my mind finally clicked the pieces together. I looked between them, horror in my eyes. "I couldn't, I mean, I wouldn't. Natasha, no offence, but you aren't my type. That couldn't be true…"

Clint laughed, pausing to roll his eyes. "Tony, that's ridiculous. Any guy that's into women would be into her. I'm not stupid." I looked down, and Natasha raised her eyebrow. Clint's eyes went wide, and suddenly he wasn't as coherent. "Oh."

"When you're drunk off your ass Tony, you weren't quite able to tell the difference," Natasha said. Hurt was more than evident in her eyes.

"I really don't think so…even I am not that bad." I said firmly.

"If it helps, you didn't think it was me." Natasha said curtly, now looking at me more confidently. "Actually, if I recollect correctly, I may have heard a certain super-soldier's name be muttered more than once."

Clint let loose, and started laughing hysterically. "So, you're telling me that Iron Man is not only gay, but has the hots for Captain America? This is rich."

"I will have you know, I am Tony Stark. And, I happen to have feelings for a certain Steve Rogers. Undoubtedly, if you mention this fact again, I may just put on the suit to blast your ass into the ground."

I turn away, overwhelmed by it all. Natasha ran around to face me, a weak smile on your face. "I know you can't really believe it, but what I told you is true. And, quite honestly, I can't do this without you."

"Raise a child? I certainly think neither of us is up to the task alone." I say with a small smirk on my face.

Natasha smiles gently. "That's why it won't be a solo task. Well, if you agree."

I paused, watching her carefully. As much as she will never be mine and that is something I am content with greatly. But, not taking care of the child is my own…is even too immature for me to ponder.

"I never planned for something like this, you know. But, I don't think I could miss it for the world. That's my little person you're going to have, and I want to be a part of its life." I said quickly, smiling.

"Okay. So, you understand the reason that the others can't come back right?" She asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Never come back?" I asked with an eyebrow quirked up.

"Don't panic, Tony. You won't be isolated forever. I just, couldn't handle all the attention at once, you know?" She said with a more delicate look to her than I had ever seen.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but you know when we step into a hospital, the lack of attention would be impossible?" I said quickly.

"What do you suggest?" Clint asked carefully.

"I suggest that maybe Bruce come back. He is a doctor, and with the right equipment, can look after you properly." I said with watching Natasha carefully. "Plus, he's my friend, and he won't freak out as much as you think."

Natasha nodded. "But that's it, okay? While I am here, we need to keep this quiet. Only Banner, okay?"

I nod solemnly, thinking about how I won't be alone in this, but I will have to be isolated from the one person I would wish to go to most.


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce's POV

It had been exactly four months since I had been told to leave Stark tower. Hell, it had been four months since I had heard a single peep from Tony Stark himself. There was something wrong. As one of his best friends, I could tell. But, he would probably kill me himself if I went to investigate before he was ready. Tony Stark was anything but a pushover, and he would only go to who he wanted when he wanted and on his own time. It wasn't even related to the power within it, it was the fact that he had to wait until he was ready to talk about something to even tell someone as close as me. I knew it had to be bad by this point. Why else wouldn't he have called for someone by now?

Then, it hit me: maybe he just hadn't picked me to help him. I thought, just maybe, he had picked another of his close confidants. I knew because Pepper was with me all the time, details graciously excluded, that he hadn't picked her. That was strange, because above all Pepper had been there for Tony the longest. She was the first person he ever truly confided in, but that wasn't enough for her to be called forward.

For a split second it entered my mind that maybe he called in Steve. Even though the two of them had been close for the shortest amount of time, it became commonly known around the building that Steve was there for Tony practically twenty-four seven. Hell, I remember times where Steve would be in Tony's room for days at a time, helping him through whatever. Usually those days were consistent of sickness or hangovers, and there was one time I particularly remember:

_I walked into the hospital, anxious as all hell. I mean, I had been told that the 'other guy' had managed to break Tony's fall. Sure, Tony just dodged a nuclear missile. Sure, he came to the ground and had everybody thinking he might be dead. That day, he proved himself a hero. When he came to, he brought up the fact that we should all celebrate. Steve told him that they would later, and carried him away for medical help. Not a soul among the Avengers argued with Steve's logic. Tony needed serious medical help._

_So, as I strode up the halls, I felt scared that Tony was more hurt than the other Avengers had filled me in on. I made it to his room, and stopped flat at the door. Steve was sitting on the bedside, hands wrapped around Tony's, and his head gracefully laid on the side of Tony's pillow. They both were sleeping almost peacefully._

_It hit me then that there was more behind that than I could, or even probably they could understand. I smiled gently at the sight of them, both of them finally seeming peaceful and happy. I walked over to the bedside table, on the side that Steve wasn't currently occupying, and left Tony a get-well card. _

_I would come back later. There was no use disturbing this. With Steve there to take care of them, one night later, I could see that Tony was getting better already._

It wasn't a hasty idea either. It was realistic. Not even Nick Fury had heard from Steve, as even Captain America duties were ignored. Nick kept calling me to bitch about that fact, but I said if it was anything serious, we had other help for now. I was sure if Steve was ignoring distress calls, he had good reason.

Just as I finally was beginning to finalize the belief that Tony wasn't calling me back, I got a text message.

'Bruce?' –T.S.

I laughed gently before replying. I thought of calling Pepper upstairs to see, but maybe he wasn't ready for that yet. So, I started with a more easy response.

'Yeah, this is still my number Stark.' –B.B.

'I need your help.' –T.S.

'Help with what, Tony? What's going on?' –B.B.

'I will explain when you get here. Come alone.' –T.S.

'Why alone?' –B.B.

'Listen, I get that Pepper and you are a thing. Bros before hoes-wait, Pepper would have me hung for saying that. She is more of a bro… Shit. It's not me that won't let her in on this. Please, just tell her you are going to buy milk or something, and come here.' –T.S.

I rolled my eyes. At least, in the very undertone of the message, you could tell that it was still him there. He was okay enough to play himself. Though, he is a little less intelligent today with his banter. I will figure out why that is when I get there. I at least need to go to help him this once.

'One hour.' –B.B.

'Thanks.' –T.S.

It took exactly one hour. I knew it would. Why? I had to convince Pepper that I was going to buy milk, and she knows very well that I don't drink it. I'm lactose intolerant. Tony knew that. He was just saying an expression. I was so stressed that it didn't reach my brain before I ran in to talk to her.

I finally stated after an intense amount of argument that I just wanted to go shopping. When she asked why she couldn't come, I lied to her. I told her I was trying to locate Steve.

She watched me carefully, lifting an eyebrow. "You want to go talk to Steve?"

"I want to see if he's heard from Tony…" I said. I trailed off quickly, not to tip her off that I had already heard from Tony. Man, she may kill me when she finds out I am hiding this from her.

She smiled gently, and reached up to kiss me on the cheek. "I don't think I fully believe that. But, come back when you can, and tell me when you can. I hope Tony is alright."

I rolled my eyes. "How'd you know?"

"Haven't you learned by now?" Pepper said, laughing as she walked out of the room backwards. "I always know. Keep that in mind if you ever plan on cheating on me."

I laughed heartily, and gathered up my things before running over to Tony's place.

Honestly, I never expected what I saw.

It took him a little while longer to answer the door, but when he did, the look on his face told me that things were as bad, if not worse than I had expected.

"Tony, you look like hell." I said jokingly.

He didn't even crack the slightest inkling of a smile. He motioned for me for him to follow, while speaking in a low voice. "Thank you for coming alone."

Neither of us spoke another word until we reached Tony's workroom. But, when we did, and he closed the door behind him, I knew I had to speak up. "Tony, you are freaking me out here. You aren't acting like yourself, and no one else is being allowed to know slightly close to what is going on with you…man, you've got me worried."

Tony started pacing back and forth, his head in his hands. It took what felt like a long time before he stopped in his tracks, and looked back over at me. "You think I really don't want everyone back here? You think I like being paranoid, and secretive?"

"Why are you being that way then? What does Natasha have on you, that she can keep this control and mayhem over your life?" I said in a fiercer tone.

Tony looked like he might just cry. He sat down on the couch, and fisted his hands in his hair. "She's pregnant."

I thought about that simple statement for a few moments. Clint and Natasha were engaged, and it was only natural for things to eventually progress…wait, that makes no sense. The only reason that Tony would be involved in this is if...

"Holy hell, Tony, I thought you told me that she wasn't…uh…your type. And, she's engaged. And, this had got to be some kind of practical joke…" I rambled on, until Tony actually let loose a weak laugh.

"You sound like I did when she told me. Utter and full denial is the name of the game." Tony said slowly.

"What'd she say to your denial?" I said, starting to feel the amusing part of this story unfold.

"She said I was too drunk to tell the difference," Tony started, cracking a small smile, "to which I claimed as utter bullshit, until she brought something else up…"

"What did you do, Tony?" I said, weighing the options of hilarity carefully. The only thing that could really give him this much mix of angst and humor in this situation would involve- "Tony, HOLY SHIT, you didn't!"

He actually broke out laughing, and nodded. "Now that both Natasha and Clint found out, because of my loud drunk mouth and Natasha's gossip, that I was really verbalizing a wish for a certain super soldier."

"As awesome as that is, I think you should lie of the drinking for a while." I said slowly.

Tony's face straightened again, and he raised an eyebrow. "Ya think?"

"I know. I will go around the tower, hiding away the alcohol. You need to be withdrawn, Tony." To which, he rolled his eyes at me. I ignored that, and carried on. "In the meantime, while I work on that, you can call up the rest of the gang."

Tony took a deep breath, and before I could walk away, grabbed my arm and yanked me back. "It took me this long just to convince her to let you come back, Bruce. I'm not allowed to ask for anybody else back. As it is, she barely admitted to needing you here."

I looked at him, completely taken aback. I know Natasha is a bitch, but this was seriously crossing the line. She had Clint to help her through all of this, and she was definitely more grounded and prepared for such a situation to occur. Tony? He needed someone that could be for him, and keep him sane, and distract him when things get too bad, and show him affection…someone who could power him through the scariest beginning ever to a new journey.

The only person he'd let in like that, banned from the tower? That's just bullshit.

"Tony, fine, you know what? Jarvis, keep the room locked down after I leave. I don't care if Tony is your Master… it's for his own good." I said quickly, ignoring the weak protests on Tony's end.

"I will do as you ask, Mr. Banner. If Tony yanks me apart while you are gone, you realize it's on you." Jarvis said. For a computer, his banter was always surprisingly human-like.

"If he does, I will repair it later. Tony, listen, I am going to talk to Natasha-no, don't try to interrupt me. I can't be everything you need, and she is a bitch to suggest that you should go through this alone." I said quickly, moving forward and gathering Tony into a hug.

Reluctantly, he hugged me back. It wasn't as if, in our friendship, affection was unusual. But, on some level, I think it reminds him of the last person he let that close to him. He got close to one who soon after was ripped away from his life. That only gave me more fuel to bitch at Natasha. Pregnant and hormonal or not, she deserved to be bitched out for putting him through this.

I pulled away quickly, and smiled, before heading out the door. I could almost have sworn that I heard a whispered 'thank you' as I walked out, but I chose not to push my luck and kept going to talk to Natasha.

Once I found her, she noted the furious expression on my face. So did Clint, but honestly, at this point I don't give a fuck. I'm not scared of them.

"Bruce, can you just hear me out?" Natasha said, already knowing what I was coming to talk over. Typical spy, I suppose. That wasn't going to make me step back.

"No! Natasha, that is my friend up there! He is being torn to shreds because he is trying to make you happy. You have Clint, and you know what? Tony deserves a support system going through this as well. He is going to be clueless, and nerve-wracked, and scared! Can't you let him have who he needs?" I pleaded with her, hoping she had actually listened.

"Bruce, you don't understand-," Clint tried to start.

I shook my head. "No. This is HER fucking problem to deal with, Tony doesn't get back-up, and SHE shouldn't either, really. Fuck off Barton!" I screamed. I wondered for mere moments if Jarvis was letting Tony listen in. It's okay, either way. He could use hearing this.

"Banner," Clint said softly.

Natasha came forward, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "He's lucky enough to have a friend here, and right now, that is fine. Unless you want to contact others that will not visit or judge, he's got you. I'm sorry Bruce, I can't handle anything more. I am ripped away from work, from home, from my life. Tony still has his home, still can work from home and be distracted, and still has a plain friend. The only thing I have is Clint, and for you to judge, is pure cruelty. He's the only thing I have, and Tony can fare with the one damn loss versus my many."

"Coming here was your choice. Going through with this, moving in here, taking time off work, abandoning your entire life was your damn stupid decision! Don't punish Tony for your wish for seclusion!" I begged, closing my eyes tight.

"Can't he lose something?" Natasha whispered. "Is that too much to ask?"

I opened my eyes, and openly scowled at her. "He is giving away a lot for this. He is dealing with you, for one, and he hates you. You betrayed him before, and guess what? It's apparent that in his mind, he can't even trust that you won't do that again. In the back of his mind, you will just knock him down again, and laugh over it again. It's unfair to try and think that is resolved. He can't go party, he is giving up alcohol altogether. He can't go for help and he is just at home, hoping he can survive withdrawal alone. He can't be immature, or witty, or argumentative, or humorous-he is losing his identity for this. With that, probably little bits of sanity. Can he lose enough to appease you, Nat?" I glared at both of them before continuing. "You may see the house, and the work, and the friend. But guess what? Tony gets to lose almost his entire identity and life, and happiness, for you. Is that fair?"

"You won't understand, I know, but it is. Feel free to make a long-distance call to get Tony some parenting advice. Otherwise, my answer is unwavering. You're here, that's it. If you tell the others what is going on, or to come back, expect a world of pain." Natasha said.

Before I could say another word, the two spies rushed out of the room. If she wasn't pregnant, and I wasn't her doctor, I would go all 'other guy' and kick her ass.

For now though, I think, I might take her advice. I will be there for him, and we will make a nice long distance call.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony's POV

Bruce has been trying for me. I mean, he's been trying really hard.

He has managed to throw or hide away all the alcohol in the house. Not even I, or Jarvis, seem to know if he kept any in the building or not. Jarvis probably does know, but honestly, is hiding it somewhere even I cannot unlock at this time. Not that I'd want to, it's just, having a rebellious computer running the house can be considered odd at times. But, as Bruce says, it's for my own good.

And, it is. Drinking has done no good for me over the years. I have lost people, made an idiot of myself, ruined lives, hurt people…etc. If for no other reason is good enough, it's so that my little girl won't be put through the same crap I went through with having a drunkard as a father.

I won't be another Howard Stark.

That's another thing that I have been haunted by. I haven't the slightest clue how to be a dad. My dad wasn't around to show me what a real father was like, or were supposed to do, or how they were supposed to act. My dad was too busy looking for Steve. I swear on all fronts, that is the only thing I credit my dad ever doing for me right. He brought Steve into my time, to me. I hate to think about it now, given the circumstances, but Steve was the very best gift my father could ever have given me. Knowing dear Steve Rogers now, my father Howard's obsession with finding him made real sense. Steve was worth the world. My childhood was a legitimate part of the sacrifice.

Still, my child had nothing that she would be put aside for. Nobody would be more important than her. Oh, I keep talking the fact that 'she' is coming around the tower. I can never get over the fact, after the ultrasound that Bruce reluctantly performed days after moving back in… that I am going to father a daughter. It is a very profoundly foreign idea to me. Nonetheless, whoever I am fathering, I need advice.

The problem is the only option that I have been given to talk me through things…well…I wouldn't exactly call agreeable. In fact, I have huffed at both Natasha and Bruce for continuing suggesting it. Though, as there is now only one month left until the baby is born, I need to get that help in.

I go to Bruce, and find him in the lab, talking down Pepper in the lab. I laugh at his tone. "Yes, Pepper, I will be there. Of course, I can take time for you. You are as important as work. I…" He turned around and saw me, a blush forming on his face. "Pepper, I have to go sweetie. Work calls. Love you."

He snapped the phone shut, and I laughed softly. "You know, she will have her revenge for the abrupt hang-up later?"

Bruce too laughed, and went back to the workbench. "I have a few days until I see her, so I'll survive."

"You can survive without her? Never tell her that, it'd devastate her!" I said heartedly, leaning on the bench beside him.

"You are oddly chipper and annoying today, Tony. What do you want?" Bruce asked carefully.

"I am going to take advice, and I need you to patch me through to do so. I would, but since it was your rotten idea, I will let you do the dirty work." I said, pulling my hands behind my head.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't call it a rotten idea, Tony. It's the only Avengers contact within slight reach that has enough experience to talk you through it."

"We just kicked his frosty ass though. Do you think he, our enemy, will actually agree to even talk to me? I would kick me to the curb if I were him." I said carefully, leaning my arms again on the work desk.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "It will give Loki brownie points for playing nice, which might him make bail from Asgardian prison. Which, we all know, he wants very much right now, and he will kill for."

I smiled weakly. "We'll see. Get him on the line, then."

It took a fair amount of time, and a lot of bitching at Fury, to find the way to patch through a video-audio feed to Loki. It appears they had the technology, but Fury was hiding it and Thor kept getting frustrated with the electronics on their end and smashing them. Fury said they'd spent millions already because of Thor's skill in damaging the machinery.

I couldn't help but laugh most of the way through. Fury wasn't ever given reason for the call, just that it was important and urgent. If Natasha wanted Fury to know, he'd know. End of damn story. I am not getting in that hormonal bitch's way right now. She does what she wants, I stay away unless needed. It is easy enough for me, personally, to play along with her shenanigans.

So, after hours of crappy chatter with Fury, we were patched through to Loki's line. On the screen I was given the disturbing picture, clearing quickly, of the dark-haired and fair mastermind that almost got me killed less than a year ago. That is not what binds my concern today, though. I must get things into motion. I am running out of time to get myself in order for her.

"Hello Man of Iron!" I hear Thor cheer heartedly from somewhere behind Loki.

I smile brightly at the sound of another friend's voice. "Hi Thor, how's it up there on Asgarde?"

Thor comes forth to put his face to the camera, smiling widely. "It's far less confusing here."

I laughed softly. "I would guess so. However, I may need to make you a little confused. I need to speak to Loki here in private."

"Do you intend to harm him?" Thor said, alarm clear in both his face and tone.

I shook my head. "I promise no harm will come. I just need to speak with him about something. It's a very personal matter. I would appreciate the privacy. Though, old friend, I have missed you."

Thor nods hesitantly, and walks out of the room. Loki waits until the door is closed behind Thor before speaking up. "What kind of personal matter could you possibly need me for? What, Tony, have a little crush or something? I think your 'dear friend' Thor would kill you for that."

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry, that's just not ever going to happen. Anyhow, I actually need your advice. There is something that you might be able to give me good perspective on that no other Avenger could…"

"Tony, just spit it out," Loki said, already growing fairly impatient with me.

"I'm going to be a dad. I heard, uh, somehow you have knowledge to the-," Loki called my attention for me to cease for a moment, "What Loki?"

"I didn't know males could get pregnant on Asgarde as well! That's very intriguing and tricky business dear man. And, the fact remains: that means you must've finally gone out and admitted the feelings for the one in spandex, as Thor calls him." I stop him before he can go any further.

I clear my throat, not trying to think too hard into the feelings that Loki had just brought up with those statements. Not to mention, even bringing up Steve now tended to hurt. That was just a stab in the gut, honestly. "How did you know I wanted Steve?"

"I'm evil, not stupid." Loki stated simply, smiling. "Though, I can tell by the hurt on your face he's not the wonderful mother. You mortals still have leaps and bounds in advancements for that to have worked the way I thought, I suppose. Thor had been trying to talk of how advanced and special you are on Midgard, yet I just do not see it. Is the darling soldier even around anymore?"

"Natasha made him leave," I explained shortly.

Loki gave a look to me that almost looked like it was sympathetic. "Drunken mistakes with you, Stark, are always very extreme. Too bad you ended up with such a terrible…well…bitch to deal with. So, she won't let Steve come back?"

"Nope," I said sadly.

Loki stood from his chair, smiling. "Then, of course, you must bring him back anyways. I can see through every inch of your current behavior that you need him back."

"Loki, just drop it, okay? It's impossible to get him back right now without severe consequences from Natasha and Clint. Just, can you skip forward to the advice on parenting?" I said softly.

"I mean to warn you, he will not escape your mind in any way until you get him back." Loki said with a look of malice written across his face. I chose to ignore it as he carried on. "The whole parenting part: labor with Natasha will be hellish, the child will be lovely. Personally, I think that you have to follow what you know, other than alcohol consumption, and you should be able to figure out fatherhood as you go. Though, don't go around saying I gave the great Tony Stark a compliment saying he has the potential to be a 'natural' at this. I don't think either of our reputations could survive that."

"Fair enough, I suppose. So, if I need other advice, can I call in?" I asked quickly.

"Of course, Tony, whenever you like. I grow bored here, you know. Be free to call whenever you'd like. Make sure you connect the line to that super-computer of yours, so you don't have to go through Fury each time. I will wait until you do for disconnection of the call."

It only took a few minutes to do as suggested, and then Loki and I had said our goodbyes. At least, if nothing else, Loki gave me a new confidence about going into fatherhood. I ran upstairs, and to my room. I needed a nap.

_**I am working in the lab, when Jarvis alerts me to there being somebody at my workroom door. I tell Jarvis to allow them to come in, thinking it's probably Bruce to come to work. I am hoping, dear to God, that it's not Natasha wanting to bitch incessantly at me for nothing again. **_

_**When I look to the open door, I think that's the moment my heart stops. The man, who had just walked into the doorway, looking much like I remembered him, was Steve Rogers.**_

_**I ran forward to him, and then stopped abruptly as I got a better look at him. I stood across from him, very directly, staring at every little detail that was different. The only things I noticed were hurt, and sadness, and a bit of anger. **_

_**I choke out the words that I have been dying to say about him. "I've missed you."**_

_**Steve closes his eyes, almost looking on the verge of tears. "Then why didn't you call me back yet? Why haven't you called me in yet? You don't think that this has been hell for me too?"**_

_**I stared up at Steve carefully, watching, wishing to just be able to heal him somehow. I pull my hand up to his face, and he leans into my palm. "I'm so sorry. I wish things were different."**_

_**Then, Steve's smiled weakly, and opened his eyes so they could intensely meet mine. Then, he leaned his face down closer to mine, and I started having trouble breathing. "Maybe, just maybe, things could be."**_

_**With all my genius, I never saw it coming. He claimed my lips with his own in a kiss. And, not just any kiss. It was filled with so much fire, and want, and hurt. It barely left me with the ability to stand straight. I kissed him back with fervor, swearing to myself that I should never have waited this long for this. That's when it got even better. **_

_**Steve wrapped his arms around me, and walked me back into a wall. I smiled into our kiss as I felt myself be lifted up, and I wrapped my legs around him. The friction we were creating was ridiculously wonderful, and I just was about at the point where I was going to beg him for more. Luckily, I didn't have to.**_

_**Steve pulled me away from the wall, and ran me upstairs to my room. Once we got up there, he let me down, and we quickly discarded each other's clothes. The second we were undressed, Steve practically pounced back onto me. For such an innocent one, he was very eager for this. We both were, for so many reasons.**_

_**He shoved me back onto the bed, and got on top of me. I moaned loudly as he grinded down upon me, and brought my lips to his ear. "Dear God, Steve, fuck me."**_

"_**I've wanted this for so long," Steve murmured, grabbing the lube quickly from the nightstand before slicking his fingers and his member. He luckily used a gracious amount, as with his phenomenal size, I was going to need it.**_

_**As he worked his fingers in me, I claimed his lips so I wouldn't embarrass myself with too much more moaning. It wasn't long before I wrapped my legs around his torso, all but begging him to just take me already.**_

_**He laughed brightly, making everything feel more perfect. He leaned down to claim my lips once more, and slowly entered me. It hurt a little, I guess. There was no focus in mind to the pain. The only thing on my mind was the good feeling, and how fucking overtaken with joy I was that this was finally happening. **_

_**I pushed forward once, filling me completely with him, telling him to just move already. He moved his lips from mine to my neck, and as he started to pound into me, he alternated between biting and kissing.**_

_**I always expected this to have to be gentle with Steve. Especially, as has already been made clear to me before, this would be his first. I would be his first. But, the pleasure that came as he got into things…and was thrusting at my favorite speed and angle, I practically was screaming out his name. There was no shame between us anymore. All that we had left was pure pleasure, and bliss, and this.**_

_**When we were both finished, he pulled out and proceeded to lay behind me. He put his arms forward, and pulled me flush against him. I looked over my shoulder briefly, stuck in this inevitable moment. He smiled gently towards me, and laid his head on my shoulder, breathing me in. **_

_**There had never been such a comfort as laying there, contented in his warm arms, ready for rest. Then, he had to leave. It was reluctant, and sad, and hard. He told me he didn't know why, but he was being ripped away. We hugged, and I think even tears were slowly shed. "How can I convince you to stay?"**_

"_**Come bring me home," Steve said sadly, before walking away.**_

And then I woke up. I didn't know whether to focus on the arousal, or the steady tears, or what. All I knew is that these dreams were torture, and I missed Steve with everything I have in me. Those dreams were all I had left of him.

I don't think I have ever hated Natasha more.

But, I can't let myself focus on Steve any other time but the night, if I can help it.

My baby girl is due in a month, and that is all my world is.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve's POV

I'm traipsing around the apartment, learning what to do with myself in this situation. I can't seem to let myself leave the apartment yet. I don't know how to use that cell-phone device very well, and I doubt that Tony would bother calling if he needed me. He'd just be banging down my door.

It's only been about nine months since I've left the tower. I don't think it's too weird to have stayed cooped up inside the apartment for this long, right?

I keep questioning myself. It's the only way I get to hear conversation, and to make sense of my own decisions. Nobody has come to visit me.

Well, that's not true. Fury keeps trying to call me in for small missions. I said, word for word: "Unless the world is at the peak of ending, sir, it'll have to wait."

He always tries to ask what I'm waiting for, and what the others on the team are doing that they can't be brought in-I simply can never find the right answer for him.

The sad thing is, truly, I should want to know. I should be busting down the doors of my friends to check on them. But, there's no way. I'm here waiting, in case Tony needs my help. I don't think I could live with myself if I wasn't here when he needed me.

It hurts that the only way I feel like I am really seeing him is when I'm sleeping, when I dream. That's why I go back to my bed now, to think, to dream again. To see him again is all I need right now.

_**"Tony," I whisper, wondering where he is. I know this dream is about him. There hasn't been a dream once for weeks that hasn't included him.**_

_**I notice that I'm still in my apartment, not at the tower like most of my dreams. I hear rapping on the door, and I run to it. I swing it open quickly, and Tony just falls right into my arms.**_

_**I hear his mumbled words into my shoulder, and every single word stings. Knowing that these words aren't real, and that this is all a dream, it pierces right through to my heart.**_

_**"Steve, I'm so sorry. I miss you so much." Tony rambles. "I love you and I miss you and I'm sorry I couldn't come here sooner."**_

_**I pull back, and stare at him gently. "What'd you just say?"**_

_**Tony had said a lot of things in the other dreams. Tony had done a lot of things in the other dreams. He'd never before said those words, the words he continues to say. **_

_**"I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner. I miss you. Everything is so dark and alone without you. Nobody takes care of me like you do. It's like I'm fending for myself, and I'm just drowning as I try to survive it. I love you, Steve. I need you back home, with me." Tony says gently, leaning his head onto my chest once more.**_

_**"Tony, how can I? You told me not to?" I ask frantically, wondering if this is more real than I give it credit for.**_

_**Tony sighs. "You can't. The bitchy one won't allow it. When it's safe though, and I'm allowed, I promise I will come get you that second."**_

_**"You promise, Tony?" I ask gently, taking his face gently into the palms of my hands.**_

_**He nods. That's all I need. I lean forward and kiss him deeply. This is where every dream goes. **_

That's when I woke up.

I am beginning to despise myself for wishing for someone to check-up on me. I know it's not Tony. If it was him, I would know it. I just would. It isn't him at the doorstep of my apartment building, ringing the buzzer.

I slowly walk over, and press the buzzer. "Hello. Is this another delivery?"

I hear a gentle laugh over the system. "Afraid not, but it's fantastic to hear that you're alive up there."

"Oh, Coulson, hey-give me a sec and I will let you up." I said hastily, trying to figure out exactly how to do that. When I do, Coulson is at my door within a minute.

I answer the door, with an apparently obvious fake smile on my face.

Coulson smiles graciously. "Steve, have you left the house even once since-"

"No." I state shortly, gesturing for him to come inside.

"How is this place so clean? How have you been getting things that you need?" Coulson asked moving forward to scan my kitchen. "You haven't just been ordering take-out, have you? Was it that Tony was really that bad of an influence?"

"Actually, he taught me how to order in anything I need. It's quite simple. Once I got used to this computer he gave me back when I lived at the tower," I gestured over to the 'laptop' on my desk, "I became mostly self-sufficient."

"And the money for all of this comes from where? I heard Fury cut off funds to you, as you haven't been responding to his calls." Coulson said heartedly, taking a seat on my couch.

I rubbed the back of my head, looking away in slight embarrassment. "Tony's credits card supplies me enough for anything I need…or want, even."

"And, he doesn't have any issues with that?" Coulson asked in a humorous tone.

I sigh, putting my arms forward to cross over my chest. I take a seat next to Coulson on the sofa, and lay my head back. "I wouldn't know. I haven't heard from him at all since I had to leave the tower."

"I figured that was frustrating you. That's the first reason I came." Coulson said, a gentle smile painted on his face. "Tony is on lockdown because he's helping Natasha through something. She wouldn't even tell Fury, but she's practically quit her job. She's not planning to come back to work for a couple years. Tony's not doing so well, but as far as I've heard, Banner has been called into the tower to help as well. At least Tony has someone there. I may have intercepted a call between Loki and Tony, and found that he wants to call you home but isn't allowed."

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears. I hate to hear that Tony isn't okay, and I can't help him. I'm not allowed. I hear the stereo come on, and think how awkward it is that the song that plays fits so well. 'And I cannot compete with you, Jolene.'

"You really miss him, huh?" Coulson asks, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I nod softly. "It's not even manageable. I don't go out, but if I did, I know that I would just go looking for Tony. I'm apparently not allowed to, but I would. I know I'd try looking for things that would make him feel better, and things that remind me of him, and ultimately him. I don't like the idea that he is hurt and alone, Coulson. I promised him I'd be there for him."

"But it's more than that, isn't it?" Coulson asked gently.

I nod once more. "It's a lot of feelings, and a lot of dreams. Most things are new and hard to understand."

He laughs gently. "You know that's all normal, right? Those dreams and feelings are things that most people have for someone. It's especially normal for people as close as you and Stark are."

"Even when the dreams are about…uhm…" I couldn't find the right words to explain. I painfully thought of how Tony would respond. He'd laugh, and he'd poke fun at the 'blushing virgin' as he called me. If those dreams are as real as they feel, though, I'm not sure that's the case anymore.

"You don't need to explain, Steve." Coulson said, clearly trying to keep composure. "It's totally normal."

I smiled gently. "Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? You said there was another reason you came?"

"I thought I'd come to keep you company for a little bit. Nobody's come to visit you." Coulson said, now seemingly less assured than before.

I laughed. "That'd actually be great. Did you want to stay for dinner, or is your wife making you dinner? Oh and how is your wonderful wife?"

"Maria is doing very well. I love that woman to bits, but she never really likes to cook dinner. She usually orders in, or we go out, or I cook. Although, most of the time we both work too late to make a decent meal in for the day." Coulson says slowly. "Dinner would be great, she's working through the night tonight anyhow."

We had dinner. The night was decent. When his pager went off, he went home because she was there waiting for him. With jobs like ours, it was a miracle if you got to see your loved one for even a second of the day. That's how hard members of this company are worked.

The distraction barely worked. It disappeared the second that Coulson left. The hollow feeling came back, because I was alone and Tony still hadn't come back for me. He needed my help but he was…too stubborn to ask? Tony wasn't scared of some red-headed menace like Natasha…was he?

It didn't matter. All I know right now is that I severely need some sleep. But, as I tell the truth to myself, I need time to go back into those dreams. I need something to make me feel like this time isn't all for nothing, and he's going to come back for me eventually.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony's POV

It seems like today is the day. Natasha's been extra snippy, and she just called me upstairs to her room to come see her. She hasn't done that once, because even though somewhere in there I'm sure Clint's pretty pissed off at her, he's been waiting on her hand-and-foot to everything she needs. The only times I really get called in are when the baby kicks or for the ultrasounds that Bruce does every so often.

So, when Jarvis informed me that Natasha was yelling for me from upstairs, I kind of felt bad. I knew I had to run for it. I would have heard her before, if I wasn't in the lab downstairs where it blocks out pretty much everything else in the tower.

When I got there, Natasha was breathing heavy. Her eyes were wild, and her hair was a mess, and she was sweating like crazy. And, if I didn't know her better, I'd say she'd have been crying. I deftly avoided looking at the prep-work that was being done on the where the labor was going to have to happen, for both our sakes, and came up to Nat's side to hold her hand. I was just surprised that I beat Clint to it.

Natasha squeezed my hand harder, and Bruce scurried around, telling her that she was almost ready to start pushing. "Nat, not that I don't want to be by your side here - because I really, really do - but where'd Clint go? Doesn't he want to be here for this?"

That's the point where I really realized that she had been crying, because she now started sobbing. It was awful to see her like this, and not because of the horrible issues I have dealing with real emotion. No, this was worse. This was far worse. Because the strongest woman I know was crumbling under the pressure of everything at once.

"He's – he – he left. Clint said that he couldn't do this. He said that he really wanted to try because he – he loves me. But he didn't want to be bitter forever over it. He said he – needed some time. He told me he has to go to work, and he's going to train another agent named Bobby," Natasha looked up at me, more tears falling down her cheeks. "Tony, I don't think – I don't think he's ever coming back."

"Of course he will," I said, feeling myself start to choke up over it. "But, until then, you have me, alright? We're in this together."

Natasha laughed shortly. "It doesn't mean this is going to be any less painful."

"I'm sorry about that," I said, wincing. "I would do it for you if I could, but unfortunately we mortals can't do it the way the demi-gods do."

"Say what?" Natasha asked quietly, having clearly been intrigued enough by that to stop sniffling for the moment. "Do you mean Thor…?"

"Nope, on the contrary, Loki can. You don't remember the reports? Although, I'm sure Thor could too…I think he's a little too –what's the word, macho? - to admit he could actually do the whole pregnancy thing if he wanted to," I said, pleased that he was finding some way to distract Nat from the pain.

"We still haven't talked about a name for her, you know," Natasha said through bared teeth, not caring that she was changing the subject, anything to get her mind off the pain of the dilating. "You know, I was thinking maybe Natalie? I liked that name, and I met you under that name you know."

I smiled gently, not caring that she was still crushing his hand. I made a mental note to have Bruce check for broken bones in my hand after this. "Can I choose the rest of the name then? If you get to choose the first name, is that fair?"

Natasha shook her head. "No, but that's because I already came up with the perfect full name for her. I think you will like it. Natalie Maria Stark."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "You're not going to argue with me over which last name to use? And you're going to let her have my mother's name as her middle name?"

Natasha smiled ear to ear. "I thought you'd like that." She put her free hand up, wiping the tears as they fell from his eyes. "I know you really miss her, and I don't want our daughter to have the reputation that comes with my last name."

I scoffed. "Like mine's much better."

Natasha was about to keep talking, but then it was Bruce's turn to speak. "Natasha, I'm going to need you to start pushing."

"What about the drugs?" She practically yelled at him.

Bruce sighed. "I'm sorry, with the stress triggering the labor so quickly I didn't have time to administer anything for the pain."

Natasha turned back to face me. "If I say I hate you-"

"I know, I know," I said, smirking, "Know that you love me and you're just reacting to the pain."

"I was going to say 'Know that's it's a possibility that it's true, because after this I am going to be pretty pissed off at you', but eh, that's okay too if you'd rather think that, go on ahead." Natasha said, weakly smiling as Bruce held open her legs.

"Alright, on the count of three, I need you to push. One, two, three-"

It was quicker than I thought it would be, even though it wasn't time-wise. Natasha did break a lot of bones in my hand, which Bruce had to patch up and cast up after the six hours of labor. Natasha was a trooper, like we knew she'd be. She did a lot of swearing, in English to start- and then Russian when the baby was peeking out. Then she bitched at me, about a lot. I didn't care if some of the things she said stung, because in the end she apologized. Because, when Bruce cut the cord and showed us our precious little girl, neither of us could really be angry anymore.

Natasha got first dibs to hold her, and she's never looked so sweet and peaceful in her life. I was getting my hand fixed up, and all I could do was just watch her as she ogled our little baby girl. She looked over at me, raising an eyebrow, back to her old self. "What?"

"You're just…it's nice to see you like this. This is the first time I haven't been scared of you," I said honestly, watching just how gentle and relaxed the woman turned for the first time.

"Shut up," She said softly, clearly joking as she went back to being in mommy-mode for the very first time.

*Later in the other room, giving Nat some time alone with the baby*

Bruce and I smiled to each other. He watched me carefully. "You still scared about this?"

"Strangely, not as much," I said, wincing as he was finishing wrapping my hand.

Bruce sighed. "You still miss him?"

I nodded softly. "Always will. But that's not important right now, and I can't think about that right now."

"She might be able to let him back now Tony, she might be more understanding about it-"

I cleared my throat. "Those two girls in there need all of my attention. I can't worry about myself right now, okay?"

Bruce nodded. "But, promise me one thing."

"Anything for you, Brucey-kins." I said, a wide smile on my face.

"Eventually, when you're ready and you think they are ready and it can be possible, bring him home." Bruce said softly, "Coulson said he misses you too. He hasn't been on mission at all, according to Fury. He's living off your credit cards."

"That's the best I can take care of him for now, and I don't like that, but it's okay." I smiled gently. "Now, how much effort do you think I will have to put forth to have Nat let me hold the baby?"

At the perfect moment, Nat was standing at the door, smiling. "I was just about to suggest it myself."

I smiled as she sat on the couch beside me, and slowly she handed me our daughter for the first time. I watched her carefully, and I think my whole insides just melted. I don't know what this feeling is, or whether I like it or not, but it's there and it's all-consuming and I just can't stop watching her. I laugh gently as I notice her head. "She's already got your hair."

Natasha giggles too, snuggling close to me to watch over her as well, and we both watch her open her eyes to us. Natasha grins. "And she has your eyes, Tony."

We sat there for a while, just watching over her. Then Natasha looks over to Bruce. "Do you want a turn with her, maybe give Tony and I a few minutes to talk?"

Bruce smiled hugely, and gently pulled Natalie out of my arms. I pout. "Don't worry, Tony, I'm not going far."

When Natasha turns to me, she her smile starts to fade. "I'm sorry, Tony."

"About what, Nat?" I asked slowly.

"I don't know what I would've done without Clint there through that, and now that he's gone…I feel it, and I feel horrible. I managed to leave you all alone in this. I didn't even talk to you unless it was important. And, I wouldn't let you have anyone but Bruce." Natasha sighed. "I want you to know that I didn't mean to torture you, I just didn't realize how much it was hurting you to not have him here with you."

Natasha took a deep breath, not letting me bud in. "I needed someone there. Clint held me every night, and I still cried and I still had nightmares and I still had panic attacks. He was there to cater to everything I needed and it still wasn't enough. I…I guess what I'm saying is, if you want him to come back…"

She started choking up, and then she started sobbing. And as much as I wanted her to finish that sentence, and as much as I wanted to say yes and run to bring him home, I knew I couldn't do that to her. Now she was alone too, and I couldn't let her have those feelings anymore.

"Natasha, darling, you don't know how long I've wanted to hear those words. I know you don't understand why or how or what the hell was going on, but yes, I am in love with Steve. And I miss him like crazy, and I was crying and screaming and having nightmares and hurting so bad I thought someone had ripped me apart and threw piece by piece away, but guess what?" I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes again. I don't know how well I'm going to handle things if I keep crying this much.

"What?" Nat said between sniffles, thinking that I was going to start yelling.

I shook my head, and pulled her tightly into my arms. "I'm not about to leave you alone to feel like that, and as much as I love Steve and wish he was here with us through this, I just…I know that my attention needs to be on my girls right now."

"Really?" Natasha said as she pulled away, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Absolutely. The only thing I can't do is the whole physical stuff, because well…I don't drink anymore and you know – but other than that, I will be your substitute boyfriend. And you will be my substitute boyfriend as well. Deal?" I asked, my heart welling up as he heard Natasha laugh.

"Deal." Natasha said softly, chuckling.

At that point Bruce walked back in, releasing the baby back into my arms.

When I went to go to sleep that night, with Natasha hugging closely around me and Natalie sleeping in her bassinet right by my side of the bed (clever Nat, very clever, making it so I will be doing most of the middle-of-the-night wake-up calls). It took me a while to fall asleep, but when I finally did, Steve was there in my dreams again.

_**Steve sat alone in a corner, quiet. I walked over to him, and sat in front of him slowly. "I'm sorry, Steve."**_

"_**You promised you'd come for me when she said I could come back," Steve said, not quite realizing until then that Tony was able to bring him back home.**_

"_**She didn't really say it…" I said softly, pulling his hands into mine. "She still needs me right now, and more attention than ever, since Clint left her behind and she's in a lot of pain and I just feel so responsible for all of this and I just…I can't come back and bring you back to ignore her and be all happy and lovey-dovey in front of her. Even though I kinda hate her, and I don't really trust her yet, I could never do that to her. For reasons that I can't explain yet, unfortunately," I told him.**_

"_**It's only a dream, you can tell me," Steve egged me on, trying so hard, wishing so much to just know why I am hurting and why he has to be alone.**_

"_**It feels like more than a dream, it feels too real, and I promised not to tell. Doesn't my loyalty surprise you? I'm doing pretty well today with this stuff." I said jokingly.**_

_**Steve pondered for a moment. "Will I still be able to see you like this?"**_

"_**It's a dream, and we're both dream-figures, so I guess so." I said, laughing softly.**_

_**Steve nodded. "Can I still kiss you?" **_

_**I laughed, leaning forward and catching his lips with his. When we pulled away for air, after a surprisingly gentle kiss, I laughed a little more softly. "I'm surprised you even have to ask m-"**_

_**I groaned, knowing that I had to go. "I will be back soon, sorry about this."**_

I woke up to Natalie screaming in her bassinet. I picked her up, and I rocked her softly back and forth in my arms. After a little while, I managed to get her back to sleep. I couldn't make myself put her down though, and eventually Nat noticed I wasn't there and got up startled. She stayed that way for a few moments, before seeing me and smiling. She leaned her head on my shoulder and slowly fell back asleep.

*About four years later, just a few months past Natalie's fourth birthday. [Sorry for the fast-forward, there isn't a lot of material in the baby years you'd want to hear about as much]*

"Natty, what'd I tell you about climbing the cupboards in papa's workshop? You could get yourself hurt baby girl, and that would make mummy and I really sad." I said softly, prying Natty (the nickname came about on accident, but Natalie seemed to prefer hearing it to hearing her full name) for the millionth time off of the units in my lab. When Natasha went shopping and I was busy working on something for S.H.I.E.L.D. (which is how I got Fury to stop bugging me about missions, by helping them build equipment for the existing team) she loved it in here.

"Papa, do you love mama?" Natty asked as I placed her back down on the stool.

I raised my eyebrow. "Why do you ask, squirt?"

"Because I think you don't love mama like Uncle Bruce loves Aunt Pepper." She said. For a four year old, she was kind of a genius. I like to say it's thanks to genetics, and Nat always rolls her eyes at me.

"No, I don't love her in the exact same way. What your mummy and I have is complicated." I said softly, sitting in front of her on the floor, cross-legged just like her.

"Did you ever have a papa?" She said, changing the subject.

"Yes, I did. But I called him 'Daddy' instead." I said quickly, wondering if maybe she could just change the subject one more time.

"Do you miss him?" Natty asked.

I sighed. "I wish I could say yes. But I do miss his friend, who is also my best friend."

Natty had a beaming smile on her face. "Tell me about the daddy friend."

I took a deep breath. "His name is Steve, he's very kind and noble and caring. He likes to read, and draw, and writer, and bake. He prefers to ride a motorcycle than drive a car. He hates flying in aircrafts, but he's brave about it when he has to. He likes to dance and sing, but he's too shy to do so when people are watching. He's always been my personal hero, you know."

"Do you love Steve like Uncle Bruce loves Aunt Pepper?" Natty asked slowly.

My eyes widened. "What makes you think that, kiddo?"

"It's the way your face looks when you talk about him." Natty says softly. "Will I ever meet him?"

"Hopefully."

"Soon?"

"Not likely, but we'll see." I said gentler, not letting her know this conversation hurts. She got up and crawled over to me anyways, falling into my arms. Like she knows either way or I just can't hide it well enough.

It's then when Natasha walks in, a huge smile on her face. "I brought some friends, and I know this isn't something I usually do, but Tony can they come in?"

I look behind her, and I see none other than Matt Murdock and Elektra Natchios standing patiently, each holding a little toddler…that both look to be about Natty's age… in their arms. I smile brightly, hoisting Natty in my arms as I stand up. "Of course, come on in."

Matt comes in first, slower than usual. The little girl in his arms talks to him softly. "Daddy, a little to the right, okay?"

Matt just nods, and I laugh softly as he finally comes to face me. "She knows you have that sonar thing, right?"

The little girl in his arms speaks up before he can. "I just like to hewlp."

I smile. "Of course you do, and you are?"

"Cassiopeia," she struggles to say. It is a pretty big name for such a little kid, after all. "You can call me Cass for short."

Elektra chimes in. "We usually insist on calling her Cassie for short, but she likes Cass better."

"So, are you looking for rooms in the tower? Has Fury found out yet about the whole she-bang with you two?" I said quickly, already knowing the answer.

Matt shook his head. "We've been taking turns on missions, but he's starting to get suspicious. I don't want him to throw a fit. When we bumped into Natasha we just thought-"

"Say no more, we'll just buzz the resident nanny before you have to go out to meetings and missions. Then, poof! He won't be able to bug you anymore." I said, smiling.

Loki walked in from the other room, sighing. "Please stop calling me that. Just because Fury won't let me join the team yet, doesn't mean I will always be the nanny."

I pouted. "But, it's such a good look for you!"

Thor walked in behind him, laughing softly. "Man of Iron is only teasing, I'm sure the Director-Man will let you join soon."

Loki nodded, coming forward to take Natty into his arms. "Hello, little girl! How's papa been today?"

"Good! I missed you Uncle Loki!" Natty said with a smile, jumping over into the demi-god's arms.

Loki laughed. "Your Uncle Thor and I were just having a little chat?"

She raises her eyebrow at him, and I still won't get over this, she says: "Are you sure all you were doing was talking?"

Loki's face flushed, and the rest of us adults couldn't stop laughing. He just held her a bit tighter. "Okay, Natty, fair game."

Natty nodded. "Who is he?" She asked, pointing to the little boy in Elektra's arms.

Elektra walked over, smiling. "This is my son, Jasper."

"Can he see me, or is he blind like his daddy?" Natty asked softly, reaching out towards the little boy with caution.

Matt smiled. He looked in the direction of her voice. "How did you understand that I was blind?"

"Because Cass had to tell you where to go," She responded. "I think that's a yes. Can I still play with them?"

Elektra nodded. "He's very self-sufficient about it, like his father. He can hear well enough that he can almost have sight."

"Like a bat?" She asked, giggling ever so softly.

"A bit like one, yes." Elektra answered.

Cass jumped out of Matt's arms to get closer to Natty, and Loki took Elektra and the kids to go to Natty's room so they could indeed play. Before they left the room, Natty looked back to her papa. "Can we watch that movie you showed me the other day?"

"I don't think they'll like it, pumpkin." I responded nervously.

Natasha raised her eyebrow. "What did you show our daughter this time?"

"It wasn't all that bad. _Rock of Ages_ is going to be a classic, and she really liked it." I said gently, willing in my mind for Nat not to smack me.

Nat took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Okay, fine, it's better than the alternative."

"What's the alternative?" Natty asked, now curious.

Natasha took a deep breath, and I laughed. She knew she wasn't getting out of this one. "Papa wants to take you to concerts, but I think you are too young and it will hurt your ears."

"Like the concerts in the movie?" Natty asked, her eyes lighting up.

I smiled. "Better, a hundred times better when you are actually there."

"Mummy please can I be old enough now?" She asked sweetly.

Natasha sighed. "I will talk to your papa about it, okay? But I make no promises."

"Yes you do!" Natty said. She wasn't being cocky, she was being truthful. She knew that her mum was a sucker for her, and loved her too much to say no when Natty was being that cute.

With that, Natty started singing bits and pieces of 'Rock of Ages' down the hallway. I laughed gently. "Maybe you can do singing lessons with her, and I can do concerts?"

Natasha stared me down, somewhere in the back of her mind swearing to get me back for this one, but eventually caved in. "Fine. But be careful, and if she goes deaf I get to kill you."

I nod my head slowly: "Deal."

*Several Months Later*

Natalie has been coming with me to several concerts lately. Natasha makes Bruce check her ears after each one, and there's been no damage. So Natasha has officially shut up about it, and now has taken to just clicking in as many pictures of us in our matching concert t-shirts as she can, enjoying the amount of bonding time we've been having.

And, Nat kept to her side of the bargain for a long time. She even brought in old friend Maria Hill when she was off-work (which wasn't that often, but it was often enough for Natty to call her Aunt Maria) to help with the singing lessons. To which, I might add, she tells me that she'll kill any of us if we bring up to Fury her tiny miniscule career before becoming an agent that she had as a Canadian pop-star.

They tried slower music with her at first, but she really hated it. Then when they started with girl rock, she told them, and I am directly quoting this now: "It's an improvement, but papa's music is so much better." Did I mention how much I love that little girl?

Everything had been going great, really. I love Natty to death, and Natasha has finally been able to sleep on her lonesome. Natty is incredibly happy to have friends her own age around the house, and still is hip-to-hip with her Uncle Loki. I don't know how they got so close, but they did. I think Loki misses being a mom sometimes, but I think if he did he'd try and tell Thor. Or me, maybe, when he wants help telling Thor that. But, for now, he seems pretty content just being the uncle.

It was two weeks before Natalie's fifth birthday, and that's when things all went straight to hell.

Natasha came to my lab one night, and she talked to me gently. She told me that she needed to go back to work. I began to say how great that was… until she told me that it meant she was leaving. She wanted to go and try to find Clint, to go travel again. She told me she wasn't herself anymore. It was a screaming match, and it ended with me in tears on the floor.

Natasha left the house that night, not as much as a goodbye to her daughter as she walked out with her things in the dead of the night. Bruce found me the next morning, and I could barely get myself up. I was still sobbing, still in utter disbelief. I was so hurt. I can't believe I trusted her.

Pepper took over for a while, and then Loki tried to calm me down even. Nothing worked. I had no idea how to do this without having a mom for Natalie, and how to tell her that her mother wasn't coming back and she wasn't going to have a mom to celebrate her birthday with or any of the other big things in life with that a mother is supposed to be there for.

One night, three nights after she left, I snapped. I don't remember too much of how it happened, or why I did it, or how the old habit got caught in my head. I just felt the need to do it. I sliced into the skin on my arms, big ugly dashes began to form, and then when I felt myself start to get light-headed…I knew I had been bleeding too much.

I started stumbling, fumbling for purchase. I yelled up to Jarvis in the lab, hoping no one would hear me. "Jarvis, call me a cab. Tell them I need to go to Steve's. You have his address in your database."

"I think you need more immediate medical attention, sir. Can I please call Dr. Banner down here instead?" Jarvis said quickly.

"No, no, the cab is fine. Please don't wake up Bruce. When he does wake up though, tell him I will be home soon and not to worry," I said, tears streaming down my face.

"What if you won't be?" Jarvis said solemnly.

I took a deep breath, not bothering with a coat as I ran out the back door to the cab. I yelled back to him: "I will be, I just need to see him first. I promise I'll be coming back home!"

With that, I jumped in the cab, and I was on my way to see Steve. He said if I ever needed him…and did I ever need him right now. I hoped he'd understand.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve's POV

It's been five years.

He hasn't called, or visited, or texted, or emailed…

Should I just give up and give in to the probability he's not coming back for me? Should I leave this place, and actually live my life? No, I think that is an improbability.

Why?

I need to be here if he needs my help. I know it's been five years, and he hasn't come yet with a problem, but he will. And, when he does need me, I need to be here. Waiting for him, that's where he needs me to be. Just in case something does happen.

It's odd that he's made it this long without needing my help. When I lived at Stark tower, it was like every single day there was something new he needed help with. Whether it be someone to talk to about strategy, or to take control of a mission, or clean up after a hangover, or talk to when he wasn't doing so well…he always turned to me. I didn't know why, I didn't care. I loved it.

In the due case that this is just my own mind, I can admit it. I think I loved that he needed me, because I fell in love with him.

It was beyond stupid, right? Falling for the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist with a million issues? Yeah, I guess so.

And, I don't think he would be comfortable knowing that either. I personally think he'd freak, and start trying to find someone else to help him through things. Hell, maybe he already has. Maybe that's why he hasn't come to see me all these years.

I'd been refusing jobs from Fury, living off Stark industries payroll for nothing. Tony never even bothered him once on any charges that were taken for the cost of living. That included having anything I needed delivered, so I wouldn't have to leave the building. It's just me, clinging onto the idea that one day he might just show up on my doorstep needing something.

It's probably stupid.

I go to sit by my window, and think more into things for the millionth time, when I see a yellow taxi pull up to the building. It's odd, because nobody ever tends to visit here. Not that I know of, anyway. A man stumbles out of the cab, muttering something to the cabby before going to buzz whoever they want to see. And, somehow, that man looks strangely familiar.

It's then that I hear it. My apartment is being buzzed, and I jump from my seat and run over to answer.

"Tony?" I ask, whole-heartedly hoping it's him.

I hear a muffled voice through the speaker, but I can still tell it's him. "Steve."

I feel a tear stream down my face. I remember quickly the limping I had seen from him, getting out of the taxi. "I am coming right down, stay where you are."

"That sounds easier than walking up there, Steve." He says softly, with a weak chuckle.

I laugh too, happy to know it's really him down there. I run down the stairs, and when I reach the front door, I open it slowly. I smile as I see that is really him. But, I start to worry. He isn't looking at me. He's looking down to the ground, in a way that he seems more ruined than I have ever seen him.

"Tony?" I ask softly. I step down right in front of him, and grasp his shoulders. "Tony, please, look at me."

He slowly lifts his eyes to look into mine, and I can see tears streaming down his face. "Better late than never, right?"

I nodded, ecstatic to see him playing around as himself. Then, I looked him up and down, taking it all in. That's when I saw the blood dripping down his shirt. I move my hands down his arms, and when I reach his wrists, I pull them forward so I can see what's happened. I don't think I was ready for that.

"Steve, I…"

I pulled one of my hands back, and clapped it over my mouth. I was trying to comprehend what I was seeing: deep, bloody cuts up and down his arms. They looked intentional, and serious. And by intentional, I mean… "Tony, did you do this?"

Tony bites his lip, and looks down. "Yes, but, telling you why is a long story. For now, can you just help me?"

"Doesn't Banner live at the tower? Couldn't he have patched you up?" I asked carefully.

Tony sighed. "I didn't think he could handle it. And, I, uh, remembered what you said about coming to you…and, I just…"

I nodded, not needing him to finish. I cracked a small smile. "Do you need me to carry you upstairs?"

"It'd be preferable. I've lost a lot of blood, and I guess that kinda screws with motor functions…" I close my eyes, trying not to think too deeply into that. He moves forward and rests his head against my chest. "I'm sorry."

For some reason, I think that he meant more than just sorry for tonight. But, I couldn't think about that now. If I didn't get him patched up soon, this would be the last time I'd ever get to see him. He'd cut far too deep, and that might be a problem.

I reached down, and swooped to pick him up. I guess in normal circumstances he may have been angry at me for carrying him bridal style, but it would make the run upstairs faster. When we reached my apartment, I laid him down on the couch. I went to walk to the bathroom for supplies, but he gripped my arm as tight as he could to pull me back.

"Steve, why are you leaving?" Tony asked softly.

I knelt down beside him. "I am only going about ten steps away, and getting some stuff to patch you up. I can try and fix it here, but if you start to lose consciousness on me, I will have to call the paramedics. Okay?"

"So, you're not going anywhere?" He asked more softly.

I smiled weakly. "Not a chance. I'm not leaving you alone in this, okay?" He nodded unsurely, and I laughed weakly. I leaned over, and gently kissed his forehead. "Believe me I'm not going farther than ten steps."

Tony smiled up at me, and I rushed over to the bathroom and back quickly to get the supplies. I looked up at him weakly as I pulled out the stuff for stitches. "You know, this will hurt like hell…are you sure you don't just want me to call someone?"

"Try first, if I can't handle it, then take me wherever you need to." Tony said softly, putting out his arm.

As soon as the needle pierced his arm, his muscles stiffened. "Tony?"

"You know, uhm, maybe you could call someone…" He said hesitantly.

I raised an eyebrow. "The needle hurt worse than the knife?"

He winced. "Actually, the needle freaked me out more than the knife. I have a slight aversion to needles."

I laughed softly. "Alright, I will go call the paramedics. Five steps to make the call, okay?"

He looked at me curiously for a second, then smiled and nodded as he understood. I don't think he even heard the call, or I was paying as much attention as I might have to the man on the phone. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

Once I put the phone down, I ran back to kneel at his side. "Steve?"

"Yes, Tony, it's me." I said softly, brushing back his hair carefully.

"If I die…"

I cut him off in his tracks. "You're not going to die, Tony."

He cleared his throat. "If I die, there is something I kind of wanted to try first. You think you might be okay with helping me out?"

I smiled weakly. "I don't see why not."

"I want you to kiss me." He said softly, watching me carefully to evaluate my reaction.

It took me less than a few seconds to respond. I lunged forward, and pressed my lips firmly to his. He immediately kissed me back, and it was just amazing. I can barely believe I had been missing this for so long. I reached to grasp his neck, and deepen the kiss, and I could swear he moaned into it. It took a while for us to need to catch breath. When we pulled apart, I kept my hand tangled in his hair and pull my fingers through it again and again. I couldn't quite master the shock that the kiss had overtaken me with.

Tony broke the humble silence, with a smile on his face. "What do you know…it was better than I imagined."

I raised an eyebrow, almost laughing in relief. "You imagined that, huh?"

It was then that he began to pull away.

It was then that he began to practically flat line.

It was then that the paramedics ran in, and I started to order them around Captain America style. I could almost feel the grin on Tony's face. Even if he couldn't see me, I had no doubt he could hear me. That at the very least made this easier.

Luckily, it wasn't too long before they were done fixing him up. Then, it was just me, sitting by his bedside while he slept, hoping to God that nothing went wrong. Well, other than the fact I heard quite I few things I need to ask about, and he was stirring so much in his sleep that I had to hold his hands together at his side to stop the hospital staff from putting him in restraints to keep the stitches in, things were fine.

Tony's POV

I woke up in what I was pretty sure was a hospital room. My eyes slowly fluttered open. I was happy to see the sight in front of me.

Steve Rogers was at my bedside, holding my hands, and laying his head in a lazily perfect slumber on the edge of my hospital bed. I smiled gently, and felt as if I could lay their forever. Well, I couldn't. I'm sure that Steve thinks I have a ton of explaining to do.

With that thought, I leaned up, and kissed Cap's forehead gently. When his eyes fluttered open, I saw a gentle smile cross his face. "Thank you for not leaving."

Steve sat up in his chair, still keeping his hold on my hands. "I said I wasn't going anywhere, I meant it."

"Not that I don't enjoy the gesture, but why do you have such a tight grip on my hands?" I asked gently.

I laughed softly as Steve noticed that his hands were still there, and flushed a deep crimson. "Well, it was either that or restraints. I figured it would be less taxing for you to wake up with your hands being held than with your wrists tied onto the bed."

"What do you mean?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

Steve cleared his throat. "You were having a lot of trouble sleeping. You were, well, you were tossing and turning and talking. It was when you started tugging at your bandages that the staff started getting concerned, and I stepped in."

"You stepped in before that, I heard, as the last thing before I was out cold." Steve started to shake at the thought, and I reached my hand out to him. "The Captain mode was quite adorable, especially when you were doing it just for little old me."

"Little old you? Tony, the one time you are not bragging about how special you are…is when you were about to die? I…Jesus, Tony…I couldn't lose you, okay? It wasn't just for a good laugh. I wanted to make sure they took care of you right." Steve said quickly, bowing his head down.

"Steve, if it helps, I didn't want to lose you either." I said softly.

Steve looked up, his eyes literally glazed over. "Tony, you left for me behind for five years, and you say you didn't want to lose me? I mean, I get it, Natasha is picky about who she lets into her business, but you could have come to me. I wouldn't have told her, and I would've been there, and you wouldn't be in the hospital right now…"

"Steve…"

"And, who's Natty?" Steve asked softly.

I sighed heavily, and patted a spot on the bed for him to sit. Steve slowly climbed out of his chair, and sat on the bed with me. I took his hands into mine, and gently looked up at him. "This is going to be a very long story…"

"I'm not going anywhere." Steve stated firmly, watching me carefully.

"Well, it started because of that victory party we had," I said carefully.

Steve rolled his eyes. "How many hangovers and trip-ups do you need to tell you to drink more lightly?"

"Hun, after that party, I don't think I'm getting hammered again anytime soon." I stated firmly.

"You were an ass at the party, Tony, truly. I mean, you probably don't even remember half of it." Steve said sadly.

"I actually don't remember past what people had been telling me," I paused for a moment. "I, hey, you're the first one to call me on being an ass that particular night. What did I say to you?"

Steve flushed. "You were yourself, with way more bravery due to the alcohol…"

"What does that mean?"

Steve cleared his throat, more flushed than before. "You were, well, flirting with a lot of people. And, uh, you didn't have much distinction…except…"

"Except…" I asked hurriedly. What the hell did I do now?

Steve smiled weakly. "You would always go focus on one person, and then go running back to me, then the next, then back to me. I call you an ass…because all those other people were kinda feeling burnt up about it."

"Were you…burnt up about it?" I asked quickly.

Steve smiled a little brighter. "Honest?" I nodded. "I loved it."

I knew where this was going, but I know that if I don't tell him what's been going on for the last five years first, he'll hate me for it later. But, I couldn't resist one last input. "If I'd had known that, I probably woulda stopped running off to go talk to the other people. And, you kinda just helped piece together something from the story I have to tell you."

Steve bit his lip, visibly trying to hold back a tremendous smile, and nodded for me to get on with the story.

"Well, you know how Natasha kicked you out about a month following? She had some news for me, some news that I wasn't expecting…"

Steve's eyes widened. "How the hell is that possible? I mean, no offence to her or anything, but she is just not somebody I could even see you sleeping with. And, what the hell did Barton do? Did he try to kill you?" He paused for a moment, pondering some more. "Natty is your daughter, Tony?"

I nodded. "You caught everything much faster than I did. I had a far more extravagant case of denial, which, Natasha was prone to believe. Apparently, when I was indisposed, I may have unconventionally admitted something to her."

"Do I want to know?" Steve asked, running a hand through his hair.

"You actually might. It's kinda why your piece of the story was evident…" I said, waiting to see if he could catch the gist before I would have to admit it out loud.

It only took about a minute, but he got it. "You were that adamant to getting back to me?"

This time, it was my turn to flush. "Actually, Natasha thinks that I really couldn't tell the difference by the time I was that hammered. But, your explanation actually makes a hell of a lot more sense. But, the implications do lead to the same conclusion."

"Tony Stark, are you saying what I think you are saying?" Steve said with a bright smile on his face.

I nodded, extremely pleased that Steve seemed to be taking it well. In fact, it made it even better that he moved to lie in front of me. "Well, I'd say the same thing, but I thought you might have started to figure that out over the last few nights yourself."

"Actually, I just thought the treatment was out of sympathy for a dying friend…but, honestly, it's a relief to know the truth." I said with a wide grin plastered on my still flushed face.

"So, let me guess: Natasha left with Clint, you finally came to your senses and decided to come to me after all this time?" Steve said with a more than amused look on his face.

"I will have you know, I wasn't alone. Natty happens to love Uncle Bruce, and as of a very recent development, Aunt Pepper. But her favorite is Uncle Loki, though we don't really know why that is." I said firmly.

Steve moved his hand forward, and ran his fingers through my hair repeatedly. I can't peg what it is, but something about that gesture just makes me feel at ease. "But, they weren't who you needed."

"By no means bragging about the fact it's you that I needed, are you Steve?" I said, eyebrow raised lazily.

"If I'm lucky enough to be that person, I don't need to brag. But, you Tony, you need some rest. Maybe I should go get us some food, and come back in time for you to wake up." Steve said carefully, starting to move away to get up.

I highly objected to the notion. "Please, just stay. It's been five years, and I finally have you back, and this is just not the time to leave me here alone."

Steve smiled, and nodded. He snuggled into my side, and his head rested softly on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, and started to already feel myself relax. "Tony, this is all I could ever ask for."

"You don't need to ask, this isn't a dream. I'm yours." I rested my head over his, and we both drifted off to a careful sleep.

*Next Morning*

I wake up, and I can tell its morning. Though, something is very new here. Sure, I always wake up in hospitals. I get into a fair amount of accidents, being Iron Man and all.

What I am not used to is Steve Rogers clinging comfortably to my side, and snoring ever so softly. It only took me a couple moments to remember the previous night, but a huge part of me thought that it wasn't even real. It was truly too good to be real.

I wasn't about to test my luck. Until I realized one thing: its morning. And, like most other guys, I have a certain morning thing that needs to be taken care of. Then, suddenly, I groan at a realization. Even the super soldier man himself, Steve Rogers and Captain America rolled into one grand package, was not immune to morning wood.

If things were different, and his wasn't resting dangerously close to mine, I probably wouldn't have done anything. What? Who am I kidding? I would have. That's just my nature, unfortunately. And, that side of me has been repressed for a good five years.

I leaned down, and captured Steve's lips in mine. Immediately, he started kissing back. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, and moved over his leg so he was straddling my lap. I moaned at the sensation of his clothed arousal rutting against mine.

This couldn't be real. This had to be a dream. Steve Rogers is not this bold, in this way. He blushes at even the word sex. Hell, he blushes at the word fondue! I really need to fix that association from his brain. But, that's not the point. The point is, this is either a really good dream, or someone needs to pull away soon so I can figure out what alternate universe we've been shipped into.

Just then, Steve pulls away for breath, laughing softly. He pulls me up to sit, and keeps straddled over me as he grins. "Good morning, Tony."

"This has to be a dream," I whisper, flustered.

Steve chuckles softly, and leans closer to my ear. "Why would you think that? You dream about me a lot, Tony?" I nod softly, beyond thinking not to at this point, and he pulls to face me with a smile. "That's good. It means I am not the only one who has been dreaming about this."

My eyes widened, incredibly intrigued. "You dream about me…like that?"

He laughed softly. "I know...I found it odd at first too. I usually was the more innocent-minded sort. But, yes, I've been dreaming like about things like this for a while. Actually, now that I think about it, the dreams started right around the time that you left."

I thought back, and to think of it, the dreams about him did become more frequent around the time that he left. Actually, now that I think about it, they started being heavier after the time of a certain conversation with a certain trickster. "Steve?"

He looked up at me, a smile clear throughout his entire face. "Tony?"

"Want to tell me about the first dream you had?" I asked slowly.

Steve nodded, clearly past the point of shame. "Well, I came to confront you about why you had kicked us out…and why you hadn't brought me back yet…and, before you could answer, I may have pinned you against the wall and kissed you. Then, well, I lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around my waist, and I carried you upstairs to what I believe is your own room, and, well, from there it got pretty interesting."

"Well, I'll have to thank Loki for that later…the sneaky little shit." Steve looked at me in confusion. "Let's just say he knew I needed you around, and he must've linked our dreams and added a little sexy-times dust to try and see if he could get one of us to crack and run to the other."

"You knew about this?" Steve said, confused.

I laughed. "Nope, not until now I didn't. But, if you could do me a favor, just tell me now if you want to do more right now."

Steve laughed gently. "Hold on," he said. Steve got off me, to my temporary displeasure. To only excite me more by closing the blinds, locking the door, and closing the curtain around us. Then, he climbed back onto my lap, blushing. "I didn't want us to be interrupted…"

I reached up and pulled his lips back to mine. We rutted senselessly for a long time, and we explored with our hands quite a bit, before Steve got fed up and took off my hospital gown and threw it to the side. He started at my lips and started kissing downwards, until he got to my dick. I groaned as he took it all past his lips in one foul swoop, and sucked hard. "God, Steve, you don't have to-"

Steve responded by gripping onto my hips, slowly caressing, assuring me that it wasn't what he had to do – it's what he wanted to do. And he was just so good at it, first timer's luck maybe? God, it was so good I didn't even have time to warn him when I was going to peak. He didn't seem to mind though, sucking down what I had to offer until I was done, before coming back up to kiss me.

"Steve, holy fuck, like that was - can we – can you – I mean, I know it's not much, but I think there's Vaseline in the drawer…"

Steve pulled away from my lips, looked at me wide-eyed. "I always figured you'd want to…and maybe it was just the dreams where you'd want me to…"

"Top isn't such a scary word, Steve. And, I actually prefer to bottom. That's what it's called, yes. I just prefer sometimes not to have to do all of the work, and it feels better sometimes to hand over control, and shit it feels so good with that one spot-" I looked at Steve, noting the innocence there. "I'm sorry, too graphic? Or too soon? We could go on dates first, lots of dates with roses and restaurants and cheesy movies…all those things."

Steve laughed softly, leaning over to the drawer and grabbing the Vaseline. No, it wasn't the most romantic thing. But it would work as well as lube for the time being. Steve watched me carefully as I stripped off all his clothes, and he slicked up his fingers. I moved down on the bed, when we were both naked, and Steve started prepping me. When he had one finger in, he smiled. "Do I still get all the romantic-stuff if we do this now?"

"God yes, Steve." I said, both to the request and to the loveliness of him finally prepping me. It was one finger, then two, and when he reached the third my patience was growing wary. "God, please, Steve. Can you just…now?"

Steve watched me carefully. He nodded, and I slicked up his member with the Vaseline before he positioned himself at my entrance, wrapping my legs around his torso. Slowly he started pushing in, and the choked moans coming from his lips were killing me. Or were they the ones coming from mine? Who cares at this point? He stopped when he was buried in me to the hilt, and he waited for me to react.

I laughed softly. "That is…God, that's fantastic. A little sting, but much more pleasure than sting. How about you, darling? How are you feeling?"

"I thought the dreams felt real…but this, oh my God, Tony, why have we waited till now to do this? God, I've never felt something so intense. Can I move? I really, really want to move." Steve said, leaning down to bury his face in the crook of my neck.

"Yes please," I said, smiling my most poised smile until Steve pulled back and started just slamming into me at a pace that shouldn't be humanly possible – but I guess the serum made him an exception to the normally humanly possible. And you know what? It was fucking brilliant. I couldn't stop moaning, and frankly neither could he. It was pretty amazing, if you ask me.

When it was over, Steve pulled out of me and fell into my arms. "That takes a lot of energy."

I laughed. "It does, and more for you the way you go. Shit Steve, you are the best."

"Pretty good for a first-timer?" Steve said, smiling weakly.

I frowned. "Would you have rather done that after the flowers and movies? I promise lots and lots when I bring you home with me."

Steve leaned up to kiss me once. "It wasn't perfect, but it was right. And it was good, and if it could be better, we can always do that again sometime."

I smiled. "Steve, can I ask you something?"

"Yes," Steve answered hesitantly, lying back on my chest. He seemed to enjoy the light of the arc reactor.

But that's not what I wanted to ask him about. "Why didn't you move on? Or leave the house?"

Steve took a deep breath. "If I hadn't, you'd be dead right now Tony. I couldn't risk anything happening to you because you came to me and I wasn't there. And I hated hearing you were hurting and I couldn't help you. I love you, and I couldn't not be there when you needed me."

I watched him for a bit, and ran my fingers through his hair gently. "I love you too, you know. I hated not being able to bring you home. I missed you like crazy, and I needed you. And did I mention I love you too, because I think that's the most important part."

"Tony-"

"Although there is this other thing I've kind of been thinking about, and you can absolutely say no, and I kind of want to make sure Natalie likes you before we would…but I just thought about if maybe when you came back we could have all this lovey-dovey stuff. But I think boyfriend isn't enough for you. I think we need more than that, and we already love each other and you waited five years alone for me and I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else and-"

"Tony!" Steve interrupted. "Are you asking me what I think you are?"

"I may even have designed a ring for you back at the tower…but I should have waited for the flowers and the craziness to subside first, right? Would you even say yes if I asked you right now-"

"Yes, Tony, I would say yes. I would absolutely; one-hundred percent love to marry you." My face lit up at that, and I leaned in to kiss him, but he yanked back for a minute. "But I have some conditions."

"Anything for you."

"I need you to promise me you're not going to leave me for that long again, and I need to know that you aren't going to hurt yourself again, because I need to know if I marry you that things will be better and I won't have to lose you…because that's the one thing that would truly destroy me." Steve said softly, watching me and waiting for my reply.

"I won't leave you again, and if I do it won't be for as long, and I will always – and I mean always be rushing to come back home to you." I said, smiling. "So you're my fiancé?"

Steve smiled. "And you're mine."

"Can we get on some clothes and get out of here then? I want to make sure we get home well-before Natty's birthday, she hates it when I steal her thunder." I said swiftly.

Steve nodded, and as we were just finished cleaning up and getting dressed, the door flung open. "Tony, thank God!"

Bruce came up to me and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Then, when he pulled back, he smacked me. "Hey, nice to see you too, jerk."

"You can't do that to us, or to Natty. Clear?" Bruce said, clearly having been through hell trying to locate me after Jarvis only was told I was in medical danger and I was going to Steve's.

"Hi Bruce," Steve said in a small voice from the background. "I already kind of made him promise not to do that again."

Bruce smiled a small smile and turned to face him. "It's nice to see you Steve. I'm glad he's bringing you home. It is way overdue. So, I'm guessing there's a relationship now, correct?" We both nodded. "Did Tony bring you the ring?"

"You saw that?" I said, jaw falling wide open.

"Of course I did, and Steve will like it very much. And guessing by that being the comment, he already knows it exists…so you two are engaged?" Bruce said to a little too chipper.

"Well, that is if Natty approves of me." Steve said, smiling softly. I walked over to him, wrapping an arm around him and leaning into his side. I can't remember being this happy for a long time.

"You're in luck that she's in the waiting room. If you will let me go get her, she's been missing her papa. And I think Loki wants to have a chat with you as well, Tony." Bruce said softly.

"You brought her here?" I asked, a bit of a whine in my voice. "I wanted her to not-"

"You know as well as I do that you could not lie to her that much for that long about where you went. I'm going to go grab them, and no running away." Bruce said quickly, leaving before I could object.

A few minutes later, my little Natty walked in the door. I was sitting on the edge of the bed with Steve, and tears started falling from her eyes. She ran up to me and fell into my arms, hugging onto me tightly. I felt her shaking in my arms, sobbing. "Papa, I was so scared. Mummy left me and then I heard you got hurt and then I thought that you were going to leave me too. Please don't do that again. I don't like missing you, and you aren't allowed to go away too." She pulled away, giving me a very stern look for an almost-five year-old. "Capiche?"

I just nodded, and she hugged me one more time. I started crying too, thinking about how much we both almost lost. When we were done crying, she pulled away and stared at Steve. "So this is daddy?"

Steve's eyes widened. I laughed softly. "Yes, that's the friend of both my daddy's and mine I told you about."

Natty moved in between us on the bed, staring up at Steve. "If you're with my Papa, does that mean I can call you Daddy?"

Steve's features softened. "You're a pretty smart kid, just like your papa."

Natty nodded, climbing up into Steve's lap and snuggling up to him. "I know. So, is that a yes or no? Or would you rather me call you Steve?"

"I'd be okay with you calling me Daddy, if it's okay with your Papa," Steve said, looking over to me slowly. I laughed gently, nodding. It was really easy to love that kid, and I could tell Steve already did. He took a deep breath, and smiled. "Would you be okay with me getting married to your Papa?"

Natty looked confused. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because he asked me, but he said I have to check with you first." Steve said, smiling brightly.

Natty's smile was beaming brightly. "Papa really loves you, and I like you enough. He talks very nicely of you and I hear you also like to sing. I like to sing too, and I practice-"

I didn't hear all of it, granted. I just was too in awe of it all. Steve and Natty were having a very mature/ immature conversation about the things they have in common, and about how my relationship with him will change the way the house works. By the end of it, Natty had a new singing teacher and Steve most definitely had her blessing.

But this story is far from over, I warn you. This is barely the beginning.


	7. Chapter 7

Loki's POV

I love this little girl. I really, really do. My – well, as we have taken to having her call me Uncle, I shall call her my niece – Natalie is a bright and amazing young girl.

I fear that Tony, or the Man of Iron as Thor likes to call him, notices the sadness. I hadn't brought up my own children until having to give advice to Tony, and I hadn't even allowed myself back to children for fear of the heartache it would cause me.

As much as I love being the nanny for Natalie and the twins of their other hero friends, I can't deny to myself that it just makes me miss when I had my own children. I realize that two of those children were evil, and one is a young woman who now remains only half-alive to the depths of the earth… but they were still my children. And it still hurt when they all were taken from me, all by Odin's command.

I tried to make up for my mistakes in my youth, I really did. However, I also remember my repentance being treated no better than my wicked behaviors. It was because the wicked behaviors were more enjoyable and of less consequence…it led me down a very dark path.

I have eventually lived to regret the things that I have done. The people I've hurt, the trouble I've caused. I could've never seen that if Thor had given up on me. He's really not my brother anymore, nor has he truly ever been. But he's always been there for me, and he's always understood.

I just don't know how to approach him with this.

About a week after bringing Tony back from the hospital, I went to talk with him. I figured maybe since I helped talk him through his troubles, he could help me through mine.

He was in his workshop, as a very common thing I've found. When he heard me come in, mostly by his AI (whatever that means, Thor just scrambles around trying to figure out where it's voice comes from some days) announcing my presence, he smiled brightly. "Hiya Loki, how's my favorite nanny?"

I took a seat on Tony's workbench, taking deep breaths, feeling saddened again, trying to keep utter composure. I failed. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and the next thing I knew Tony was on the bench beside me, letting me lean on his shoulder to cry it out. We both waited until the sobbing stopped, Tony more patiently than I imagined he would, before I lifted my head up and closed my eyes. "I'm sorry."

Tony chuckled. "Nothing to be sorry about, although I'm not sure why you came to me, because this isn't really my area of expertise; you know, with the whole emotion thing. As you can tell by how I handled mine about, oh, a week ago," he said, gesturing to the bandages still wrapped around his arms that were bloodied up a bit more than he'd like to admit. "So why don't you Papa what's wrong?"

I scrunched up my nose. "Tony-"

"It's what works with Natty, sorry. Not used to the whole emotion-talk yet. Working on it. What's on your mind, Loki?" Tony said, smiling as sincerely as he could muster.

I took a deep breath. "I miss being a parent. Not that I don't love being a 'nanny' and watching over the wonderful children in the tower, I just miss my own children."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I think we have enough room in the tower, if you miss your children-"

"Fenrir is in jail for heinous crimes, Jormungand was drowned in the sea for trying to kill Thor, and Hel…well, she's very sick. I'm not allowed to see any of them, since Odin and his band of brutes took them all away before I could even really know them," I said, finding myself fighting back more tears.

Tony took a deep breath. "I can't say much for Jorm, but maybe if you and Thor went back to Asgarde and we came with you we could negotiate the release of Fenrir and we could even take Hel home to be examined…Bruce is a doctor, you know."

I shake my head, feeling a few tears start to trickle down my face. "Fenrir killed too many people, he was made corrupt by capture and I fear that there's no saving the vicious monster he's become. And, Hel, I don't know too much of her condition. Half of her is like me, very poised and spotless and beautiful. But the other half of her, half her face and the bottom half of her body, is basically scorched. The bad half of her lives as if it is being tormented by the devil each day. If I disturb either, things will just become worse."

"I still think we should work towards saving Hel," Tony said, solemnly. "It's worth a shot. But, as you know, we need to discuss this with Thor. He will have much more luck talking this through with Odin than I think you will. We can send Bruce up there with him and they can plead to help them. I can talk to Bruce, if you will speak to Thor. In the meantime, this whole process could take months to recover. Years, even. Do you want to wait that long for children?"

I squinted. "I don't know."

"You want to ask Thor, don't you?" Tony said, and I had a feeling he knew my answer was going to be yes before I said it. Which is why he was ready to reply with: "Then you need to. I mean it, sit down and cry and do the whole thing and let him know how you feel. That big blonde oaf of a god really loves you, and he'd do anything for you that he could. Or, at least he'd try to understand and help you through."

I nodded. "Maybe I can speak to him now?"

"Do you want me to wait till after you discuss this with Thor to discuss the ideas with Bruce, or Steve for that matter?" Tony asked hesitantly.

I sighed. "Bruce, if you could wait, would be better. However, even as I would prefer Steve not to know just yet, I will not have him in the dark at the expense of you lying to him. If he asks, you may tell him."

That's the last thing I said before I saw Tony's small smile, before I walked out the door at a quick pace and headed to where I knew Thor was at this moment. I stood by the doorway of her room for a minute, just watching the three of them. Thor and Steve were trying to tell Natalie that not everything has to make sense to her immediately that her papa says, and she just shrugs and falls into Thor's arms again. They must've been playing with blocks before, and knowing the group, I'm sure Thor was the one who accidentally knocked them over. I cleared my throat at the door, and all three looked up at my presence.

The first to verbally and physically respond was Natty. She got out of Thor's arms and ran over to me, hugging my legs. "Uncle Loki!"

"Hello my dearest, how are Daddy and Uncle Thor treating you today?" I asked, petting her hair.

She smiled up at me. "Good, but I think I may be smarter than them, because I can understand papa better when he uses big words."

I chuckled. "Do you think maybe you could let me borrow Uncle Thor for a little bit? I want to talk to him about something."

Natty frowns, letting her grip fall from my legs. "But you will come back later?"

I nod. "Of course, darling girl, I'll be back soon. I'm not going too far, and not going for long."

Natty's smile reappears. "Okay, just remember to use little words."

She wanders off back and Thor chuckles heartily as he walks over to me. "I will get you back for that soon, my young friend!"

He doesn't hear her scoff, or he ignores it as we leave the room together. I opt towards the bedroom, in case there would be any angry yelling. We both sat on the edge of the bed, and Thor looks anxious as he asks me: "Are you angry with me?"

My eyes widened. "No, I just, I wanted to talk to you about something, and I can't-"I curse under my breath as I feel a third time my eyes starting to swell with tears.

Thor becomes panicked, he grasps my hands in his own and he watches me. "Loki, please, do not get upset."

"It's not what you did," I said slowly. "I just…I…don't know if you even remember. I just have been spending so much time watching over the other children that it's brought back memories and feelings and it just…"

Thor nodded slowly. "I remember. I'm…I can't justify what my father did, and I don't know what I can do now to repair the damage he has done with your children."

"Don't get upset, but I spoke to Tony-"

"_Don't get upset?_ You spoke with him before me about this?" Thor said, what I thought as angry tears pooling in his eyes.

"Not to anger you, I just-"

"Loki you do not anger me, you sadden me. I wish you had come to me first about this, I just felt like things were getting so much easier for us. I thought you could tell me anything…"Thor said, holding my hands just the slightest bit closer to him.

"Not this. I didn't know how to ask you this." I said, wincing.

Thor looked confused for a moment. "What do you mean? What question do you have of me?"

"I just…Actually, Tony came up with an idea, and I didn't think of it as even a possibility…with her being so sick…but he says that Bruce is a doctor that can maybe help her…and I didn't want to just go without at least trying to make up for…" I stuttered over my words, finding difficulty getting them through the sobs.

Thor let go of my hands, only to pull me into his arms, cradling me ever-so-gently. "You cannot blame yourself. What Odin and the warriors did was wrong, and it's not your fault. You were kept away from them and what happened with them wasn't your fault."

"How could you say that? One tried to kill you, Thor, or don't you remember? Then one slaughtered many of your friends. The only innocent one is Hel, who overlooks the dead that are often not innocent. It's only because she's too damaged to get out of bed that she's remained good in nature." I said, shaking almost violently in his arms.

"None of which was your fault. The captivity and horror they were kept in made them make such decisions, none of which you could have stopped. But, I will go back to Asgarde to try and negotiate the return of your daughter to you to be healed, if that is what you wish." Thor said slowly, running the fingers on his free hand through my hair. The other hand was none-so-deftly having been clutched around my side.

"Thank you," I said slowly, leaning into the embrace and trying to let myself relax.

Thor took a deep breath. "But that wasn't your idea. I will still do so, but only if you will tell me what you truly wanted to ask of me."

I sighed. "Promise you won't get upset? It's just a proposition, an idea. Please don't be angry."

"Of course, I will listen well."

I nodded, closing my eyes before being able to speak properly. "I want to be a mother again, and I really miss it. Thor, I just…these little children remind me of the entire childhoods of my three children that were taken from me, and I just really-"

"Yes."

"What?" I asked, a little more than baffled.

Thor smiled brightly. "I've always wanted children, and you are the only love in my life to ever be. Of course it's a yes."

"Really?" I said, a smile spreading across what felt like my entire face as I looked up at him.

Thor just leaned in to give me one simple, tender kiss before pulling back with a nod. "If you are sure this is what you want to do."

I nodded sheepishly. "So, um, when do you want to try to conceive? Or is this more a distant-idea thing for you, which would be fine-"

"Loki?"

"Yes?"

"Sometimes you need to just shut your mouth and observe the world around you," Thor said, grinning. "And, you know, I was thinking we might start trying…now?"

I grinned, and we both fell back onto the mattress, completely blissful and ready for what would come soon after. At least we had thought that to be so.

*Almost nine months later*

Well, it worked. I'm pregnant. It was a little hard to explain at first, especially to the more reluctant of our friends to understanding, but that's the truth. Tony gave Steve this kinda look once, the kinda look that made me remember what I thought about them with this situation.

Natty was the most entertaining. At first she taunted me about gaining weight, but when I finally sat her down to explain what was happening, she lit up. "You can have babies? I thought boys couldn't have babies."

I chuckled a bit as I heard Tony and Steve whispering in the background: 'Tony, did you talk to her about that?' 'No, Steve, I didn't. She's not even six. How does she-'

"I am very special, yes," I said, effectively cutting them off in the distance. "I come from another realm, way above the clouds and the heavens. Human males cannot conceive, they do not have the technology or advances of their species yet. But, on the contrary, I am no ordinary human male."

"It'd be nice if they all could though," Natty said, deep in thought as it would seem.

I smiled more gently. "I guess that men here find their own ways to raise beautiful children together."

"Like how I have Papa and Daddy to raise me?"

Tony and Steve both smiled in the background, Tony leaning into Steve's side as they listened contentedly.

I nod. "Yes, as it would seem."

"Papa, so how are babies made?" Natty asked, now more curious than ever.

Steve started choking on air a bit, and Tony took a deep breath before he could find the words. "Honey, that's a conversation for when you are much older."

"How much older do I have to be? How old do you have to be to have babies?"

This spiel went on for hours, Steve and Tony – and even I when I felt kind enough to allow myself to interject – were dodging artfully some questions, and hesitantly asking others.

"So a person has to be an adult?"

"Preferably, though it's possible that- ouch, Steve, I can't lie to her!"

The conversation went on like that for too long.

In the end she'd barely gotten any real information from them, but managed to fluster them both enough to have us both be entertained. They agreed that they'd finish this conversation in a few years.

It wasn't too much longer until the birth, in which still confounds Bruce to this day. To take out the mystery: it's magic, quite literally. Usually. Bruce took to the idea of this human ritual what I believe was called the C-Section. It sounded okay to me, but Thor was ready to whip Bruce across the room when he pulled out the surgical blades.

When the birthing was finally done, it turned out that it was a beautiful baby girl I was holding in my arms. She wasn't deformed, or angry-looking. There wasn't anybody waiting to take her away from me. It was utterly and completely perfect.

Thor could only stay so long, as he had waited out the rough pregnancy with me. He said he now must take Bruce to Asgarde to begin the process of trying to get Hel home to meet our own daughter, Eira. I would have protested, but truthfully I would have liked nothing better than to have my daughters be both at home in my arms.

*Two grueling and spectacular months later*

Thor came back first, carrying a very distraught girl in his arms. This girl, that was half-charred, and that was pale perfection on the one side and burnt thoroughly apart on the other. She was covered much in what I could only guess was a blanket, and Thor watched me carefully as he brought the girl closer.

"Hel," I said softly, glad that Steve and Natty were taking their turn with Eira this afternoon. Yes, to repay me for being a nanny, we'd been taking shifts so I could have some sleep and Eira could get the most attention possible.

"Mother," she said softly, in a voice too impossibly rough to be her own. It was absolutely heart-breaking to hear the slightest of words escape her.

I got up so Thor could lay her down on the bed for rest, and she reached out her good arm to me. She grasped my hand. "You won't leave me alone, will you? They all left me alone. The pain, I don't want to be left alone in it anymore."

"Loki-"

"Thor, I'm not leaving her." I said firmly, sitting on her bedside and holding her hand to mine.

"It's not Thor speaking, Loki." Bruce said, dragging along a drowsy Tony Stark on his side. Upon seeing Hel, Tony woke right up.

"Okay, Bruce, are you asking of me what I think you are?" Tony asked Bruce, wide-eyed.

"Not full restoration. I can work on her face, and Loki can maybe try some magic to cure her ailments that are most troublesome. But, Tony, her legs aren't going to function properly if you don't consider it," Bruce said quickly, moving around to Hel's face, wincing. "Any chance you can help partially with restoration or some extra skin to work with? This is going to be harder if you can't help."

I nodded. I walked around the two men examining her, around to the side of the face Bruce spoke of. With my charms and his medically-practiced hands, we managed to fix her complexion as if she was naturally born that radiant. She could even smile, if she wasn't in so much pain that is. Tony was on her legs, constructing alloys around them to try and give her back normal function in them. The procedures took hours. When he was done, she was more like half-robot than half-scorched, and it was better. The relief washed over her features.

"I feel less pain," Hel said slowly, letting a grin fall upon her new face.

I sat down beside her. "That's because we've fixed virtually every injury, every burn. There may be a few scars and changes here and there, but you aren't sick anymore."

"I'm not?"

"Nope."

"But I've always been sick, since the day I was born."

"Not anymore."

Slowly, she sat up from her place in bed. She moved her arms, she moved her legs, and she even wiggled her metal-alloy-covered toes. She grinned madly. Then, she coughed. "Can I have some clothes? The blanket isn't too comfortable for this situation."

I nodded, and Tony came up with a t-shirt and sweatpants of his own. "I know they might not be the best, but tomorrow you can go shopping for better."

Hel nodded as she got out of bed with the blanket wrapped tightly around her slim figure and took the clothes to our washroom. When she came out, she giggled. "I can walk."

"Yes, you can." Tony said first.

Hel took a minute to understand. "You made me able to walk?"

"Along with your mother and my other doctor friend, yes, I helped heal you." Tony said uneasily. "No thanks needed, though, I promise you."

Hel went forward and gave him a hug. "Now you must start preparing for what you want, and I shall help if I can."

My eyes widened. "Why did you let us all forget about the wedding?"

Tony rubbed the back of his head. "Well, Steve and I decided to let our wedding plans fall back a bit, you know, while all this is going on. You were there when I went through my hell and I wanted to give you time and help to deal with yours. And the good stuff too, like Eira."

"Who's Eira?" Hel asked in a gentler voice, sounding more like the daughter I'd have imagined.

I took a deep breath. "She's my new daughter, my other daughter."

"She won't get taken away too, will she? We can both stay here now?" Hel asked quietly.

I took the necessary steps forward, then yanked her into my arms, feeling tears threaten to flood again. "No, I'll never let anyone hurt either of you, now that both my daughters are finally home."

When I pulled away, she smiled this very quirky smile. "Can…can I meet her then?"

I nodded. "I think she's awake anyways, it's Steve's shift tonight. She's been driving us all a bit mad, but she's pretty lovely otherwise."

"Does she look like I did?" Hel said nervously.

I shook my head. "She's okay. No burns, no scratches. She's fine."

"That's good then," Hel said sweetly. "Let's go meet her then. And, Thor, you'll come with us, right? Family as well as us may stick together?"

Thor beamed. "Of course, I've been dying to see her."

"To the girl that was just dying, not so funny." Hel said, fooling us about seriousness for about a minute before she brushed it off in favor of asking a million questions about what she's missed.

We left Bruce and Tony in the room, after Hel gave Bruce too a hug of thanks. When Hel met her sister, it was like something sparked with her, and she was more human than I could ever dream of being. But we now were a family, and with the support of Tony and the entirety of the Avengers unit as a whole, we could continue to be so.

*A few days later*

I walked into Tony's lab, sporting the same sweats and t-shirt I had borrowed from him before. Tony sighed. "I forgot to take you shopping? Sorry kiddo, Natty was going to remind me but-"

"I got sidetracked helping Papa develop his suit. Nice to meet you, I'm Natalie Stark," a strikingly young seeming girl said ever-so-intelligently.

"I'm Hel Laufeyson, it's nice to meet you Natty." I said, reaching out my hand. She shook it respectively, before skipping back off to work.

Tony chuckled. "Between you and I, I'm a little nervous her genius is gonna surpass mine soon."

"Or that it already has?" Natty said from behind the desk, chuckling softly.

Tony shrugged, looking back to me. "Now, I just need a little bit of time before Steve gets home from grocery-shopping before I can go. He likes real grocery stores, don't know why, but he just enjoys the more normal activities we don't usually get round here. He keeps me grounded like that. As I was saying, but I could call down Elektra and she could have Natty and her daughter Cass go with you? Wait, no, I think Elektra's at S.H.I.E.L.D. base today. So maybe I could give Pepper the day off from running the company?"

"I wasn't actually here about the clothes, as these are comfortable enough for now. I was just coming to make sure you'd started planning the wedding." I said softly. "I think you've waited long enough. And, if you need help, I don't know much about the human societies but I'm more than willing to learn."

Tony smiled. Natty came round the corner. "Papa, can we have your wedding on my sixth birthday?"

"That's only a few weeks away, planning a week that wedding would take-"

"Hand of the Gods and Goddesses? Come on, I have no place up here yet. And, since there's no place left for me in hell as temporarily they are moving the people to purgatory in every sense, I need to find something else to be occupied with. Let's see if I can handle this wedding-planning/helping stuff!" I said eagerly.

Tony laughed softly. "If it's okay with Steve, it's okay with me."

"If what's okay with me?" Steve said, as if cued in at the perfect moment with bags and bags of groceries piled in the car.

Tony groaned. "I will unload the car, you talk to her."

"Hel, it's nice to see you up and about, what seems to be the trouble?" Steve asked sweetly. He always seemed so poised, so generous. I couldn't decide if I liked it or found it eerily odd. I didn't need to yet.

Natty budded in. "Three weeks isn't too close!"

"Natty wants to plan your wedding to Tony on her birthday, and I wanted to help to see if that'd be something I'm useful at." I said clearly.

Steve raised his eyebrow. "You don't know what you are useful at?"

"Kinda hard to judge when you are laid in a bed for majority of your existence, sicker than any dog could think of being," I said softly.

Steve sighed. "It's a tough deadline, but with some extra help, I think we can do it."

"Okay."

Steve's POV

I was about to take Hel shopping, because everyone agreed that we needed to let her get clothes before she could start planning things for other people. But, when I opened the door, I almost fainted at the sight of what was on the other side.

"Steve?"

"WANDA?" I said, springing forward and pulling her into my arms, spinning her about in a feat. "God, I've missed you."

"Oh God, you don't- you don't know. They haven't…"

"Haven't told me what?" I asked carefully, just incredibly glad to have my good friend back.

Wanda sighed. "I settled with Vision who had kids with me that were 'imaginary' that everybody says."

"Why didn't anyone call me in to talk to you?" I asked, confused.

"They did, not telling you specifics. I was told you weren't taking cases anymore," Wanda said in a quiet voice.

"So what happened?" I asked quickly, seeing the remorse on her face.

Wanda took a deep breath before telling me all about it. "I accidentally wiped out a huge portion of the mutant race in my anger at my kids disappearing, only for them to reappear by some miracle and for me to feel peaceful. I couldn't repair the damage I did. The mutant community wants me dead, and I don't blame them. But I can't let them hurt my little twin boys."

"I thought you said they weren't real, not to be indelicate about it, but-"That's when I noticed three young boys crouched behind her, swaying back and forth and playing. The ones that looked alike weren't as friendly to each other. I saw the one with blonde hair clinging to the black-haired boy, and the grey-haired boy stood closer to his mother's side now. "I thought you said twins?"

"The other boy, his parents died. And, well, Billy won't let him go," Wanda said sympathetically. "They are too cute to separate, and so far, the community has left me alone about taking them all under my wing. Only condition: I am to find my way without the official mutant community."

Just then, Natty sprung up behind me, giggling. The boys were her age, or maybe already six by being older by a few months, by my calculation. "Am I going to have new friends in the tower?"

Wanda laughed softly. "And who is this precious little girl?"

"She's mine and Tony's daughter," I said softly, scruffling her hair before she approached the little grey-haired boy.

Natty smiled gently, sitting on the floor beside him. He looked uneasy. "Why are you sitting beside me?"

"Because you look lonely," she said very honestly.

They sat down together just inside the doorway, and the other boys were still playing on the sidewalk.

"You and Tony's kid, huh?" Wanda said smiling brightly.

I nodded. "Yes, isn't she something?"

"Can we come in and talk more?" Wanda asked quietly.

I sighed. "I really don't know where Hel has gone, so I guess for a few minutes at least I can promise."

We walked inside, and Natty ran the boys off to her room. I saw Loki notice them and rush after, holding an ever-crying baby in his arms.

Wanda began: "I know you can't even think to forgive the actions and harm I've done, but these little boys…I can't do this alone, I worry. I need some help, and I was wondering if maybe we could-"

"No," Tony said firmly.

I whipped my head around, seeing him in the doorframe to the living area. "Tony, you have to-"

"I don't have to anything. Wanda committed an almost complete genocide. We have children and friends in this house, and if she snapped again-"

"Stark, I don't ask for you to trust me. I ask for you to lock me away, I just need someone to take care of those children. Please. For all the bad I've done, don't let them pay for it. It's my burden to carry, not theirs," Wanda said quickly, brushing tears from her eyes.

Tony scoffed. "I don't have dungeons."

I looked to him incredulously. "She doesn't need one. She just needs a room with a lock that she can't open herself."

"You want me to imprison her in the tower? What if she escapes?" Tony said, disbelief coloring his tone.

I shook my head. "I will make sure it won't happen, not until she's been gotten help."

Tony took a deep breath, signaling me to come over to him. "We can keep her in a room for a while downstairs, and I will work on converting the basement to having a cell or two. That's all I can promise. I don't know why you want to do this now-"

"Because she's an old friend, a good friend of mine. Oh, and while she may be guilty, those children are absolutely innocent. They need care, and clearly no one else is trying to find them any," I said in hushed tones.

"I understand taking in the children, but I don't think imprisonment is the answer for her. I think she needs some family time to have them help her sort out the issues with her powers. Once she gets past them, she will maybe be able to come back and not be stuck inside a dark room?" Tony said hopefully.

I nodded. "I'll call Pietro to come pick her up, and if they choose to find Erik so be it."

We both turned around. "Wanda, we're going to take care of those boys, okay?" She nodded to Tony. "You are not going to be imprisoned though, that would do you no good. Steve's using his cell phone – yes, he finally knows how to use one – to call up your brother. Pietro is going to come take you away for a while, and since he's got no affiliations right now he has no reason to imprison or harm you. He's going to work with you on your magic, and you will come back to your boys when it's safe to. Is that clear?"

Wanda nodded. Moments later, I got off the phone. "Pietro's on his way. Very happy to hear of where you were, Wanda. Very worried." I said softly.

Wanda nodded. "He barely got the chance to see me after the events, and I ran."

"It is okay sister," Pietro said, just walking through the door. Even for super speed, that was quick. "I don't blame you, being under threat of death and all."

Wanda ran up to Pietro, and collapsed into his arms. When they let go for a few moments, Wanda looked back to us. "Tell my boys I will try my hardest to come back home soon, alright?"

We nodded solemnly, and watched Pietro take his sister out the door.

Tony turned to me. "Now there are…holy shit, there's eight children in the house. Four are now going to be our responsibility."

"We share responsibility in this house, Tony," I said quietly, cupping his face in my hands.

"But we don't have rooms set up for all of them, and I have so much work to do and I am already overwhelmed and I'm supposed to-" I cut him off with a hard kiss. When I pulled back, he took a deep breath. "Thanks for that."

"There's more where that came from," I said a little more sheepishly than I would have liked it to have come out.

"What about the four kids?" Tony asked slowly, focusing more around my hands around his waist and kissing his neck.

I pulled away for moments at a time. "The gods are on duty. I saw Loki. He went to watch them all. I'm sure Bruce will step in if need-be."

"Steve, but our shift is in a few hours." Tony said softly.

"That's a few hours from now," I said in a low voice, pulling back and grasping his hand, bringing him towards our room.

Tony laughed at my eagerness. "I haven't been giving you enough attention, huh?"

I looked back at him once, as we had reached the inside of our room, really thinking it through for a minute. "The candles and flowers and dates…we never really tried any of those. And, I mean, our wedding keeps getting thrown aside for other things. And, God, Tony, you don't even realize how much I want to just whip you down on every surface and have at it. I'm new to it, but it's practically been months."

"I will talk to the other adults later tonight. We'll take tomorrow off, just you and me, alright? I will get you so many flowers the whole room will flood over, and I'll put a bunch of candles round the bedroom. And, if you can pry yourself away from me for long enough, we can have a proper dinner at a nice restaurant. As long as it has cheeseburgers, I've been dying for one of those. Sound good, Steven my dearest?" Tony asked gently.

I didn't answer with words, but with actions. I kissed him, harder than I perhaps should have considering the romanticism of the situation and what-not, but neither of us wanted it to stop. Unfortunately, due to shifts and other issues, we haven't gotten to do this…well, really, since the first time. I pushed Tony up against the wall, and hoisted him up in my arms. One of us moaned as he wrapped his arms around me and started rutting against me, but I couldn't tell which as it was swallowed by the other's lips. I moved my lips down to his throat, again leaving marks as I bit and sucked and kissed all across.

"Too many clothes," Tony murmured in my ear. "Steve, God, Steeve, off with the clothes. Please?"

I chuckled against his throat. I let him down for a moment, earning groans from both of us, and we quickly did away with each other's clothes. We may have ripped a couple garments in the process, but neither of us truly cared at this point about that. I hoisted him back up in my arms, kissing him roughly as I pressed him once more against the wall, and his legs wrapped around my torso and we were rutting and Tony was moaning loudly and frankly so was I and we were just oh-so-close and-

"Steve, in the drawer, to the bed, NOW!" Tony said, panting. I actually giggled. Tony looked at me incredulously. "Steeeeeve."

"Sorry, I just," I said, smiling playfully as I slowly let him down once more. "You're kind of adorable like that, and kind of cute, and kind of funny." I walk over to the drawer, and slowly pull out the lube I knew he meant when he said drawer. Tony was just leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath. His pupils were blown and his eyes were so dark and he was so flushed. "Could we try against the wall, you know, like in that first dream? I think that'd be-"

Tony cut me off, pouncing forward and kissing me hard. "God, Steve, yes."

I backed him up for the third and final time that night against the wall, and started kissing him again once more. I reached my hand around and slowly started preparing him. Before I knew it, he was buckling in my arms, begging. I chuckled again, looking into Tony's dark eyes as he coated my member with lubricant, then I slowly – torturously slowly, I guess, as Tony would later tell me – pushed it into him. He moaned loudly, and for a moment I panicked before I remembered that Tony soundproofed this room. I grabbed his hip with one hand, holding him up, while the other remained on the wall so I could keep my balance as I began thrusting furiously fast into Tony's pliant body beneath me.

It lasted a long time, longer than I would have expected. With lots of kissing and grinding and nipping at necks and I reached forward to stroke Tony's member and finally when the pace was met through both ends both of us keened in pleasure and that's about the time when it was done. Tony's climax was first, and the vision of his plus the clenching of his muscles around me made me practically scream out his name as I held both his hips firmly and came inside his firm behind.

When it was completely over, we were both panting, foreheads gently pressed together and just staring. Tony spoke first. "We need to do _that_ more often."

"I agree," I spoke firmly, slowly attempting to let Tony down. When Tony's feet hit the ground, he was looking a little wobbly trying to stand on his own, so I leaned down and grasped under his legs and under his back, hoisting him up in my arms bridal-style. "But, for now, I think you could use some rest."

"Tomorrow then," Tony said in a small voice, that still even in its bit of weakness, reeked with a thousand promises.

I chuckled. "Yes, but for now, I'm going to let you rest. I'm going to go take over our duty with the kids." I pulled the blanket up over Tony, smiling softly.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Eight kids by your lonesome?"

I shrugged. "If that's the case, it'll be fine. I might be able to rope in some help. Just don't you worry, get some rest, and I'll see you soon after."

Tony smiled lightly, his eyes already drifting closed sleepily. Before he fell completely to rest, he opened his eyes to look at me and whispered. "I love you, Steve."

"I love you too, Tony," I said, kissing him once on the forehead before leaving him be to get some rest. "I love you too."

I did indeed manage to rope a couple of the others into helping me, and I started chattering on about the next day's possibilities. Loki just smiled understandingly, curling more into Thor's side as he listened to me chatter on about Tony.

Bruce was wandering around the room, keeping track of the little boy named Teddy. I think Pepper and Bruce particularly liked him, and by the way they talked to me later that night, it was clear in both their expressions that they would practically adopt him if they could. I said as long as they kept the two boys together, glancing over at how Teddy was protectively wrapped around Billy as they had passed out together on the playroom floor, it would be fine. It's not like it would change much of anything, anyhow.

Natty had spent almost the entire day bonding with the little grey-haired boy, which we came to learn through her was named Tommy. She was utterly fascinated by him, and the boy even spent a little time running about, showcasing powers that really resembled the nature of his uncle's. There was no concern there, and as the night came to a close Hel carried a very sleepy Natty off to her room, Tommy watching as they walked away with very sad eyes.

I walked up to him, a smile on my face as I kneeled down to speak at his level. "Hi Tommy."

"Hi Mr. Steve Rogers, momma liked to talk about you sometimes you know, she liked it when she had friends," Tommy said in a small voice, as he was clearly starting to grow tired as well.

"You can call me Steve, all right? And I think we should find a room for you to sleep in. Would that be okay?" I asked gently.

Tommy shook his head. "If it's okay, I'd like to stay in here with my brother, for tonight at least."

I nodded. "Of course, and Bruce and Pepper and the others will help get all three of you set up with rooms in the morning. Or a room, if that's what you'd prefer."

Tommy smiled gently. "Thank you Mr. Steve… and I hope you have a good day tomorrow." Tommy ran away after this, finding a spot on the comfy play-mats on the floor close to his brother and their friend, and he laid down to fall into a quick sleep.

At this point Matt had taken his little twins off to their rooms, and had already made way to his own room and his wife for the night. For which I was glad for him, Elektra had been gone for quite a few days on mission, and I know personally how tough that could be.

Thor had taken Eira to their room, to the crib that very rarely left their room, with a very sleepy Loki clinging to his side as well. I smiled as I said goodnight softly to them, watching them leave.

Now the only ones left in the room were Pepper and Bruce, and they seemed to have fallen asleep in each other's arms on one of the sofas in the room. I decided to leave them be, and made my way back home. I stripped my clothes down to my underwear and I crawled into the already warm bed beside a still-sleeping Tony. I kissed him once gently and his eyes started to open. Tony sighed. "Hi honey, how was the rest of your day?"

I chuckled softly as I heard the sleepiness that still tinged his tone of voice. "Good, fairly good. But not as good as tomorrow shall be. Don't worry, go back to sleep." I said, turning Tony around and tucking him into my arms and my embrace, reveling at the warmth. "We'll talk more in the morning."

Tony slowly nodded, and I think I might have fallen back asleep first, and it took approximately a few hours before I felt Tony re-awaken and climb out of bed. I jolted up, a bit worried. "Tony, what's wrong? Where are you going?"

He smiled back at me, leaning back down to place one gentle kiss on my lips. "Don't worry, darling, I'll be back before you wake up. I just have some plans to make. I will see you in the morning."

With that I laid back down, drifting into a very comfortable slumber, eagerly awaiting the next morning.


End file.
